Remember when you were 5 or 6 years old, filled with the zeal of life, wishing you did not have to sleep because you
were so excited to simply “experience” anything and everything. The joy and sheer awe of those daily experiences seemed to be tented in high velocity and throbbing chaos. The glee of bouncing off a wall, or thing or even a person while being blind to any perception of differentiation was an hourly thing.
I can remember growing up down by Sunnyside Elementary School in a 1 bedroom home on a large lot. My Mother raised 4 children, 3 boys and 1 girl in that tiny house, and she slept on the couch while we all slept in one room. Youth has its advantages of course, as in my brother Andy’s case and my case because we were still too young and naïve. But my older brother Randy and my older sister Sharon probably experienced more reality than I did, and with that reality comes pain and scarring when you are struggling. We would wake up in the morning and my Mom would be gone to work as a Secretary for the Welfare Department. She would talk about poor families and their struggles and I would listen as if poverty was a stranger not knowing my own terrible economic condition. I can remember getting up and since we had no toaster, putting a slice or two of Wonder Bread, on the living room heater to toast it. It had a kind of gas smell to it but it eventually toasted and then you put butter it up and cover it with sugar. Happy blissful ignorance that begins to slowly unravel and unpeel as one adds years to their aging life cycle.
Kids of our age had to invent entertainment. Four kids in a tiny house, with a huge dirt lot all fenced off. Well, there was an old shed in the back yard standing alone. So my brother Randy decided that he and his friends would borrow a saw and hammer and some nails and they were going to remodel it and make it a CLUB for their members only. Men……hmmmm, their club, their members and their discriminating power. So they decided to fix up the shed and they made bunk beds to sleep out there at night. Oh did that sound exciting to me and so I joined in and attempted to help them with my carpentry prowess but just kept getting rebuked. Being a younger brother can teach one resilience and fortitude. As Randy build these very cool bunk beds with no springs but just hard planks…..he decided what would be really cool would be to put a trap door out of the roof. Then you could climb up on the top bunk, jump out of the trap door and escape or sneak up on the bad guys that might frequent his private club.
That trap door was really a cool gadget and man I was so impressed with this architectural delight he had created. Oh how I wanted to be in his club now but he kept telling me to get out of there. Finally he relented and told me they were going to Sunnyside to play basketball and I begged him to come. So he and his friends let me tag along but when we got to the gym and were inside, they all said that in order to be in their club I had to stand on the stage and they would throw basketballs at me. Of course I said…..”sure, no problem!” and proceed with glee to the stage. This was not a game of soft dodge ball, these were hard leather basketballs coming at you with killer velocity. Within a few minutes I was crying and laying on the concrete floor. They came over and called me a baby for crying, told me to get up, and I was almost in their club. That gave me hope so I wiped the tears away and followed them back home where they gave me instructions for the last part of the initiation. I had to run full speed into the shed, jump up on the bunk beds, open the trap door, jump up on the roof and then jump down to the dirt below which for a 5 or 6 year old seemed like 20 feet. I said I might break my leg and so they said…..”ok you big baby….we will dig this area up where you will jump and it will be softer. So they got the hose and sprayed the dirt with water and began turning the clay soil with their shovels and creating big dirt clods. Of course I complained about the dirt clods and that meant they started throwing them at me and I escaped down the hatch.
They finally stopped and I looked out the cracks of the shed walls and say they had dropped their dirt clods and were all laughing. So I came out of the shed and they told me that they were going to time me and see if I could accomplish the feat of running into the shed, and climbing up and through the trap door and jumping out. I never thought to ask them what was the actual time I had to make to join the club. Defining parameters of a term sheet are important lessons aren’t they? So I jumped up and off the roof several times and they were timing me. Timing me in those days meant they were counting out loud…..”one thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three” etc. which was an approximation of one second per each one thousand. Not exactly empirical data. However, the cadence of their counting would change with each of my attempts and my knees were getting bloody as they laughed at my blissful tenacity. After doing this 5 or six times and I began to argue about their cheating and they decided to concede if I would do one more membership initiation.
I of course said sure…..what is it. So they looked at each other and pulled out a can of Copenhagen and told me if I could chew and swallow and then run in and jump off the roof then I would become a full-fledged member. No problem, I murmured as I stared at the ugly Copenhagen can and smelled the rotten smell. They showed me how to chew, without partaking themselves of course. So I took a pinch and put it in my cheek next to my baby teeth and they said that was not enough. So they said I had to take a big pinch. I laughed and then choked on some of the Copenhagen as it ran down my throat. I took a bigger pinch and my cheeks were a bulging. They laughed and of course I was now happy and I laughed with them. The more I laughed the more they pointed at me and laughed. Finally they said ….OK….here is your test for membership. You have to do it three times before you become a member. Then they would slap me hard on the back so I would swallow more Copenhagen and laugh some more.
By then I was feeling not so good and a bit dizzy but I said “let’s go” and I did the first jump. They told me it was too slow so I now still had to do three more. After a few more I started to feel faint and I told them something was wrong I did not feel good. Randy and his friends reminded me that no sissy was going to be in their club and so I tried to get ready for another jump off the roof but I threw up. Then they all bellowed out a hardy guffaw and I began to cry as I was really pale and sick. I told them I was going to tell Mom on them and they were in trouble for poisoning me. I started to wobble back to our little house and they all caught up with me and began treating me like their long lost friend and told me if I would not tell that I was now an official member of their club. Oh the struggle of acceptance and naive validation that sometimes lingers on in adulthood as we see on Facebook. However, the power of leveraging a position can always be a good strategy in business negotiations.
As my poor Mom began to make a little more money she hoped we could afford a bigger home to rent. I still had no idea how poor we were which is a good thing. I can remember eating lots of peanut butter in large cans when we lived in that little house and even in my next house. Later I realized those were some extra Welfare cans that we were surviving from and little did I know or empathize with my Mom struggling weekly to make enough money to eat let alone buy clothes or a birthday or Christmas present.
As we got older the struggles became more obvious to me and that was the beginning of my life I supposed. I can remember going to the summer movies and taking a bag full of mayonnaise sandwiches to eat during the movies. I could sit in there and watch a couple of movies and go through 3 or 4 mayonnaise sandwiches. I was not bothered by that experience even though some of my friends would actually go to the concession stand and buy something. They would usually share and I would offer them some of my sandwiches but they declined so I thought I got the best part of the deal.
As we got older shame became an ugly appendage of poverty. Learning how to veil poverty is one issue as you can appeal clean and polite and no one knows the “ugly hidden secrets” of such a life. Yet, you always have some friends and peers who continue to pull your pants down through subtle and often overt innuendos. Kids are masters of evoking this kind of pain with surgical precision. I can remember going to the rich kids house, and they would all be putting quarters in the slot machines and I would watch.
I can remember going to the Ferris Barber Shop to get a haircut. The problem is I did not have any money for a haircut and so I had to grovel and ask Mr. Connelly if I could put it on the tab this time. Usually he would say OK and we would pay later but asking in public like that with all the locals listening was painful. I can remember him being kind of grouchy one day and told me to tell my Mom this was the last one on the tab because now I had 3 I owed for on Tab. That was a humiliating experience where the locals all put their heads down to avoid my teary eyes and my rage from being publicly scorned or disenfranchised. As I grew older and played sports the experience of not enough money to live comfortably was almost constant.
I can remember as a teenager being picked as the only freshman to go to Cheyenne Wyoming to play with the Varsity Basketball Team. That was a big trip for me….as that meant we stayed in a hotel overnight which was off the charts exciting. Jumping on beds….freedom…..stimuli everywhere! All the team and upper classmen would wear trench coats in those days so it was imperative I had a good flat top haircut like them and a trench coat. I begged my Mom to get me one at Karl’s and little did I know that $20 for a trench coat was like $2000 to her….almost impossible. So, being a creative Mom with love and hope, she had me go in and try one on, pick one, and lay it away. We did that and all was good and we left the store so excited. I was going to be like everyone else and not be burdened with that old ugly shadow called shame.
The night before the game trip, my Mom went into Karl’s to get my trench coat and they could not find it they said. Actually they had sold it to a friend of mine who of course was preferable, because they were economically acceptable if you will. I guess their rationale was sell it to a regularly paying customer versus a poor limited customer. So, my poor Mom tried to find a solution knowing I would be devastated and bought another darker brown trench coat so I would at least have one. I was so humiliated and embarrassed of this brown trench coat that was unlike everyone on the team. I was like the ugly duckling I thought and was forced in my mind to make self- deprecating comments about my “Army jacket” as if it was funny . Obviously I was learning how to shield the shame. Looking back, the jacket was fine, the problem was me and my perception of peers.. Perceptions are so problematic in those teen years and so indulgent. Imagine the pain I inflicted on my Mom who was desperately trying to juggle finances and self-esteem and find a solution. I am sorry Mom.
This was the foundation and or corner stone for my youth. It took many turns and twists as I went through decades of my life. I will not bore you with my cathartic stories. Some reckless abandon and indulgence which created havoc and some wonderful moments. Over time I learned that these struggles in life are difficult for many and not just me or my family. At times when my sister was murdered I began to wonder if God was just unfair and rubbing salt in my wounds. Vietnam was a school to master denial. The film business was a school to master the art of cutthroat gamesmanship and indulgence. Marriages were the offspring of a “Larry work in progress” on so many levels. Parenting was so much fun, but the responsibility of being a parent grew in intensity and warranted lots of learning, introspection and growth. It was during my parenting years that I began to learn why kids need so much and need both parents. My children are both the victim of my negligence or Peter Principle which has been a lifelong growing period. They each reflect the good and bad of that growth. I really hope that all of you work hard on being a good Parent and dig deep into this “continued education” called Parenting.
Most of my friends owned a house, owned a car and had two parents. They were oblivious to my situation of course and their wit and innuendo, often were knife sharp. One realizes eventually that you have to work and work hard as a youth to make just a little money and so at 14 I began working anywhere and everywhere I could. Work began to give a kid hope and independence and carved a deep feeling of gratitude for such income. My grandfather hired me for one summer (3 months) at a $1 a day. Other times I would get a job with a hoe and do weeding all day and getting blisters; sometimes it was a lawn job down the street where I had to solicit someone which took some guts; and sometimes it was at a ranch with profane and abusive cowboys. Later I got a job at a gas station and I think I got a $1 an hour then and then I got a great job at the Union Pacific Railroad as a telegrapher before I joined the Marine Corps and went off to Vietnam. Returning from Vietnam I got married and so now the work in progress and the struggle grew by an order of magnitude. This is a sail boat with no sail.
So enough about me. We all have struggles and we all must learn not to continue to perpetuate injury and to learn and grow so that our offspring do not create another generation of “issues”. This week I watched the movie with my son called South Paw. It was an amazing film but it really bothered me a lot because it was about “struggle” on so many levels. Please go and see the film.
These past days I hear of people’s struggles and their handling of such. I really wish I could help all people with these struggles. A mom, losing her wonderful son or daughter to heroin. Heroin is such an ugly drug and it is so cheap in America. Addicts have become an enigma, a culture that we are trying to love and understand but it ripples through a family in so many ugly and devastating ways. People and professionals just do not understand the addict culture nor do they have solutions in most cases. Drugs are a deadly parasite that seem to be the devil and literally steal the soul of the person. The parent and child drug cycle is a psychological nightmare and breaking such a cycle has many scars along the journey.
Poverty is always an issue and of course, education. This week I met a young family with 3 kids who were traveling across country in their van. I could see the struggle in their eyes and in their lives and on their children. I knew this smell, this vision, and this heart so well. I just wanted to give each of them $100 and hope their lives that day were a little easier.
Violence and alcohol and domestic abuse are another area of struggles for families. Seems like alcohol or drugs just make it all worse and I wish that I could help with parenting classes and counseling about anger management and such crisis that often result in a choice that changes your life forever.
The legal system is not a fair system in my opinion and incarceration is a joke. There is no rehabilitation there and prisons have become big business. I see so many kids getting 10 years to life for being tagged a “conspirator” which is one ugly definition and in many cases a misrepresentation. I know we have to have a legal system but all I can say is the corruption of our new Oligarchy is one ugly mess. So please be careful of your naïve choices in business because ignorance is not a plea. Please try and stay beneath the radar because many of the enforcers think this is a Pavlovian game. Turn the rat loose, then turn the hawk loose, ring the bell and put a scrap of food out there for this starving rat and see if the hawk can get him. VOILA…..you are caught….HE wins….you loose and you go to JAIL for Ten years of your life. I just think this is the worst reflection on our apathetic society in most cases. Not all of course!
And so today some family is wondering how they are going to make $20 to eat. It is not a sentence of words…..it is a very anxious and pained existence that must find a scarp somewhere, somehow, and with groveling humility in most cases as the indulgent world spin by with cavalier indifference until they lose a son or daughter or have a tragedy which seems to awaken their sensitivity.
And today some poor black family member will be sentenced to jail for 10 years to life for selling Pot or drugs to make a living. Time is LIFE and so he or she will literally loose a large portion of their LIFE…..gone forever. This is a family who went to the local Baptist Church and prayed and sang together. This is a family who starved together and believed there will come a solution. This is a family that sometimes were bullied by people of authority or perceived authority. This is sometimes a family with no light on the horizon……abandoned by their fellow humans.
Look, we all have struggles. I am not comparing my on-going struggles in life with yours. I am not discounting the enormous void and pain one feels with health issues, with death and with money and with food and with violence and with drugs or alcohol. I am sharing this story to try and uncover solutions, to provoke insights, to prove vulnerability. So, perhaps you should go see the movie South Paw . You might be surprised what happens when you try and help your community or that neighbor you never talk to….amazing how your resonance changes. I mean…isn’t this why we are here?
And last, for me…..the church is good soul cleansing. It provokes and probes you. It does not mean you are saintly or better but it is good for all people including children and parents. I often wonder why people do not discuss philosophers more. I often wonder if they ever dig deep into their pain crevices of their brains. I often wonder why people seem to handle talking about Freud and sex but get nervous when you talk about Jesus. His writings are really a simple blue print for life yet we run from such direct and or indirect suggestions. Now it is politically correct to say God but do not say Jesus. Or….on the other hand you can say Spiritual but never start saying Jesus. Ladies and Gentlemen…..come on…..take a moment to read, probe and ponder some of the words of Jesus. Take some time and attend some various religions and listen. You don’t have to be anointed…..you do not have to roll on the floor….you do not have to be reborn……you do not have to become a Jew or a Christian or whatever. But the probing of your soul and the harvesting of your thoughts is nurturing your energy and your being. Again….this is your signature resonance.
Last night I was angry and grouchy. This morning I just apologized to my son for such “transference” and hoped that he would see that vulnerability and contrition are good. I leave you with the thought that I care about your struggles and I hope you find resilience like the movie South Paw. I hope you will find ways to nurture your soul and I wish that my heart’s resonance could give your heart warmth and hope for a future and a tomorrow filled with love and food and health. My Hugs to all of you and your struggles. Yes money makes a lot of things easier and I have been rich and poor “multiple times” with no food or gas…..but health and love are the keys or cornerstones to resilience. I worry about those abandoned souls, and the ones who have lost hope and faith. Yes, I look for ways to help when I can. Prayers and Hugs.
Just simply sharing some thoughts around the campfire if you will with some friends. I hope it is not boring or preachy……just humble thoughts in passing to let people know I care and I hope you all care.
Humbly……
Larry
My childhood was rough too. So much so that I blocked a huge piece of it from my memory. We all struggle, we all prevail somehow and we all move on. Thank you for sharing your story!!
Yes we all have had struggles and some worse than others. The hope is that we move on, not in denial, but with more sensitivity and wisdom about the issues, the triggers, and the ability to stop perpetuating such.
Larry
Hi Larry,
Thanks for the insight to your family’s struggle as you were growing up.
I can relate to your story in so many ways . As I have 5 brothers and three sisters .
We to struggled growing up but we all learnt a lot from growing up with having to struggle . Our family has come thru with scars emotional and life but we never take anything for granted and always work for what we want . Thanks for sharing Margaret from Australia 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing this article really touched me
Thank you Mike for taking your time to read it.
Larry
Larry, thanks for this latest column. Struggles are an everyday thing, and I can certainly appreciate where you’re coming from. I just want to let you know how much you are appreciated. Thank you for giving a us the gift of your talent.
Melinda, I agree struggles are an everyday thing but some think they are isolated and I want people to understand that people care and people must learn, and people must grow through the process.
Larry
No man is an island, and I thank you for your insight, and the desire to help others.
Thank you for the story. It reminds me a lot of my mom and dad’s childhood. Then they found each other and continued with struggles with day to day life. I grew up not really poor . I had what I needed but always wanted more as most kids do. But the main thing my parents taught us was that it wasn’t about money. Now as an adult I miss those days of being naive. Thinking of going to see South paw.
Thanks again.
I sure hope you enjoy South Paw.
Larry
You never cease to amaze me, and I truly mean that. This is a powerful, incredibly well written piece. You painted pictures with your words. My heart breaks for little Larry but swells with pride for the kind and loving man he became. Whether through the times we spend together in person or through our emails, I am always learning from you. I feel so blessed to be a part of your life and have you in mine. You are special, and you are the richest man on earth in all the ways that truly matter. God bless.
Thank you Sue….it is a two way street as you know….thanks for all you do with your sensitive heart.
Larry
Oh boy, did you just bring back some memories for me! I remember making toast on the heater, government peanut butter (and cheese!), and being the desperately clinging younger sibling! My brothers once built a fort out of a big motorcycle crate…and of course, it was NO GIRLS ALLOWED! Begging, pleading and being their slave finally got me admittance….to a very boring club, haha.
I think I always realized that we were poor, but it didn’t really bother me. I had 3 brothers and two sisters, and there was only 6 years between the youngest and the oldest, so we were all very close….and if I didn’t have many things, I always had them. As we got older, life was definitely harder–we lived in a drug-filled, abusive household–but we stuck together, and we made it through.
When I look back at my life and think about the things I would have changed if I could, I find that there is little that I would actually change. Yes, life was hard, but in a way, I had advantages others didn’t. Having few things taught me to appreciate and take care of the stuff I did have; not having the money to buy things taught me to work hard for what I wanted; most of all, growing up in the neighborhood I lived in taught me more about compassion than I ever learned at any time in my life!
Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us…you have taken hard times and tragedy in your life and turned them into understanding and love for your fellow man. You have empathy and compassion for people and situations many of us don’t even realize exist!
Shawnette….so glad it was deja vu for you…..and I am glad you found lots of flowers in the weed garden. God bless you and your life and loved ones. Thank you.
Larry
Great article. Thanks for sharing with us. I think most of us have struggled thru our this life. Is comforting to know we are not the only one with problems to solve.
We should all try to help those less fortunate. Is what the Bible has taught us.
Kathy….you know helping someone else is often simply a loving and caring look of the EYE to a human…..thanks
Larry
What a story, goes to show what a long way people come over the years. Sometimes because of it, makes the person they are. Be as good as you are. and you have a wonderful smile , always keep up the good work. Love your show Chips. watch it every night. God Bless you Larry.
Thank you Barbara….as the world turns….LOL….but sure is fun to share joy and love.
Gratefully,
Larry
Enjoyed reading this (Struggles) and I believe the answer to all our problems is Jesus. If the Christians in the world would do what we say we believe we would make a big dent in hunger, hate and crime. I do believe as a Christian be all need to be saved/reborn.
On another note, I served in the Marines, was stationed in 29palms and Vietnam (1968). Semper Fi
May God continue to bless you and your family.
Wow Jerry…..we were in Nam the same time…and I also was stationed in good ole 29 Stumps….LOL…Semper Fi.
Larry
Mr. Wilcox, I watched you on CHIPS growing up and you were always the star of the show to me. I read this today and got a little choked up as I read about your situation growing up and how even you, someone who was so handsome, athletic and larger than life, struggled to find acceptance from others and dealt with a good share of your own insecurities and challenges too. Very inspiring and heart felt article, and my admiration for you has increased exponentially. I miss seeing you on the screen, but I’m glad that you’re out there doing good things.
Thank You Chaz for taking the time to read the article. It is one of many slices in my life. I am grateful for my travels and for my life long educational process.
Larry Wilcox
Larry, I remember whan I was 8 and I used to watch Chips in 1977 all the way till the series ended.My mom passed of cancer in 86 and I have vivid memories of watching Chips and my mom in the kitchen getting me a snack.Everytime I watch Chips it takes me back to my mom and having her in my life.Thank you Mr. Wilcox from the bottom of my heart for innocently helping me through the worst of times.God bless you,and the entire crew that made Chips the greatest show of the 70’s and arguably the best show of all time.
Ahh Mike…thank you for sharing this story as it is truly a GIFT to me to hear this story. Memories are the resonance of our hearts and imagine the angel of memory visiting your heart. That is what you experienced remembering your special Mom and the snacks she would bring you. That was her way of loving you so deeply in every way she could. And for you to remember it…..was her way of hugging you in your dimension. Enjoy the hug of love.
God Bless…
Larry
AMEN! Your story of childhood is similar to mine.
You are in a better place. Embrace it.
Michele….the fact that you say that I am in a better place makes me want to hug you. Let me know if I can help in any small way please.
Larry
Good Morning Sir!
Just the mere fact you acknowledged my reply; helped turn a very challenging day yesterday into a better one today. Thank you sooo very
much! Peace to you and those around you.
~ Michele
Your one of a kind. I know the struggle all to well. To hear it coming from you makes me feel a bit better about mine. Also I don’t know if you’ll see this or not but you played a big part in my life. I was 10 in 1991 and I lost my grandpa Aug 5th of that year. My birthday is Aug 12th it was hard! I remember waking up at my moms around noon the morning he died thinking is this real life!? I was in a trance not a good feeling at all for a kid. The next day I found chips on TNT I think it was. You guys totally lifted me up I was amazed! So every morning after that till school started that year I was watching chips and for that hour life was good. See my grandpa and grandma raised me. After we lost him she moved in with my mom and dad. They fought all the time. But I had a escape with Chips. Till this day I watch it every week. I introduced my kids to chips a few years back and they are hooked. I turn 33 tomorrow and I just wanna thank you for being who you are and helping feel a deep void in my life. Man I would love to meet you one day to shake your hand! God bless you! Folks like you are far and few between.
Tim Robbins
Tim thank you for sharing your story. Each of us have the high notes and low notes in our own struggles and life cycle. Each of ours feel at times like we are along with pain and wonder if anyone knows how unbearable it is. Grandparents are often significant people in our lives and are symbols of peace, love and nurturing. I have fond memories of my Grand Parents. They treated me like I was the most special being ever. I am sure your memories of your grand parents are a taste of balance in what is sometimes an unbalanced world. Hope to meet you one day also…..and may you hug someone and give them hope. God Bless. larry
Very inspirational story…how little we know of the struggles of others and yet we judge, are annoyed or cruel. Thank you!
Yes the judgement is so easy….so slppy and careless. I think I loathe the apathy as much.
Larry
Hi Larry,
I read your column, it was very sad, Moving I am sorry you had to go through your struggles in your childhood, teenage years. I struggled back in high school with bullies, I’m struggling now with mental issues, physical issues but I am thinking more positively, eating healthy ( eating sushi) , walking, hoping to go back to my aikido class. I’m one of the black belts. I don’t see you as a celebrity or star I see you as everyone else a person who struggles with life, business, other parts of life. Having a spiritual path to me it the yin, yang having a balance between good, not good if you don’t either way is not good. You’re awesome, thanks for sharing your life with us Larry. hugs to you, have a awesome day
Tiffany.S
Tiffany, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope you will continue to focus on SOLUTIONS to all such struggles. Mental can sometimes be simply the habit of CHOICE, as our choice of thoughts often creates our reality. Also, MENTAL can be a chemistry issue where you need more amino acids and or vitamin solutions. But, I am glad you are on a “path” of finding solutions. That is a great and exciting part of your transition. Hugs to you and your endeavors. Larry
I can relate. I grew up poor in the country. My dad was always working and my was home with us. 5 kids. Lots of hand me downs. We went to town (15 miles away) once a week for groceries. We were either in the old Chrystler Newport or the old Dodge pickup (in the back). There were a few that were more poor than us, but the neighborhood would donate hand me downs to us too.
If not for our garden, we would have gone hungry sometimes. We had chickens for eggs mostly and we had a milk cow. We drank a lot of milk.
I feel bad for people that cannot experience growing own food. It could prevent hunger. I never would have thought that you grew up that poor. I think many of us watching TV do not envision the actors as ever being poor. Life and struggles may change some as we grow up, but I truly believe that without God as a foundation in my early life that my families struggles and mine would have been much worse.
Thank you for your blog.
Mary….I am always amazed at the façade of actors….and believe that the big screen has a tendency to make them bigger than life and some begin to even believe that misrepresentation. LOL….Anyway, thank you for sharing. Enjoy…
Larry
I appreciate your stories and the fact that yuu share your time with us. Mr. Wilcox, Thank You for your many gifts and talents, letting us be apart of all the best and harder parts of life. Thank You for keeping it real. Sincerely, a continued fan.Liz
And likewise Liz….thank you for your time. TIME is our gift isn’t it?
Larry
Larry, thank you for your transparency. It has given me perspective in my own life. Thank you.
Joel….transparency is the wonder of lightness…..I love it.
Larry
Mr.Wilcox.. I agree, you are one of a kind. In 1997 when I was 16 I lost my Dad in a horrific car accident when I drunk driver hit my Dad’s car head on killing him instantly. My Dad and I were just beginning too bond our relationship and we were getting too know each other. I went into total shock and closed myself down. I thought to myself if I cannot let the only person whom ever excepted and loved me get close too me then nobody will. As time went on I started college at 18 and began going too parties and realized that whatever I was feeling that alcohol was numbing it. I thought I had found the cure. But then I realized when the alcohol wore off, I had feelings again. Finally I just told myself what can I do too forget that horrific day. So I just went on in life and camouflaged how I was feeling. Last year I lost my very best friend and brother Nate. He was very critically wounded in Afghanistan and passed away. As much as I was going too miss my brother Nate, looked into his tired eyes and whispered into his ear and told him that it was okay for him too be at peace. I held his hand until he took his last breath. Mr. Wilcox, Thank you so very much for being so kind too me on facebook. I also hope one day that get the chance too meet you in person and “Thank you” in person for all you did for me.
Mia White
Mia your story of loss on so many levels is sad and I am sure traumatic. I am glad you were able to whisper to Nate and love his heart and his “resonance” before he transitioned. God Bless you and I am glad you are addressing your pain and fears. That is what we are here for….to grow and transition.
Larry
Beautiful, inspiring, and heartwarming, I admire u now more than ever Mr. Wilcox. God Bless and Thank u for being a part of my childhood.
Hugs Stephanie….God Bless and thank YOU.
Larry
thanks for the insight of what made you the man you are today. it breaks our hearts but these are the things that have made you who you are today…a great and caring man. please take pride in that.
Thank you Karen….I do take pride in that and I am happy to be where I am and grateful for my path here.
Larry
A very touching story which triggered many memories of my childhood. My folks moved around so often, I was usually moved to a new school midterm. It was always difficult and I was shy and chubby, which helped make me an outsider. We didn’t have much money either. One of the mist hurtfuls things was at a new high school. I was so happy to have made 3 friends and mom let me invite them for a sleep over party. She made a chocolate cake and hot dogs and chilli. No body came. One of them called and said there was a family crisis, but didnt hear from the other two. I still feel that pain and I’m over 70 now.
We do have Jesus in our lives and give thanks
all day long. May our Lord Jesus continue to bless you.
Yes those memories of pain can be construed multiple ways….for me it has become a lesson on how I might treat others and to try not to inflict pain on people who are so very vulnerable or even strong for that matter.
Larry
I think we can all relate when it comes to struggles of all types. As a therapist I am sometimes told that what we do is a racket to get money. A lot of times they don’t see problems that their substance use causes or acknowledge that they even have an addiction. We see the denial, the blame, and the conspiracy theory that they bring with them when they come to treatment. But sometimes all I see is the child that was neglected, ignored, physically and sexually abused. We talk about how to make changes, how to control the triggers and cravings. We talk about the it being a cycle and the cycle stops with that person. But when they go out and ignore our suggestions and or recommendation because they have learned that they can’t trust anyone, and you find their picture on the jail website or you see their name in the obituary. Your heart breaks because you seen them struggle, they want to reach out but they can’t. Everything that they have known up to now has taught them that in order to survive that they have to lash out before they get hurt. And you watch them knowing that it doesn’t have to be that way. Sometimes we find that we want something better for our clients but they don’t know what that “better” is. And I would have to say the children are the hardest to deal with because you just want to take them home and love them, care for them and show them that it can be better. I tell my clients I am here to guide them, not to raise them. It’s what we do with those struggles that determines our outcome. I choose to take my struggles and make it work to my advantage through understanding, compassion, and love for another person. I am excited to meet you and Eric when you come to Nashville in September.
Alyson
Alyson….so beautifully stated. Struggles are often thought to be only about YOU and one can feel so alone with that limited myopia. I believe sharing struggles is the key and sharing vulnerability is key to strength. Then choices and growth and finding solutions. I have been blessed with a mentality to always find a solution and to each my children to monitor their habit of “thought choice” and to monitor “patterns or templates” . All of this can be fixed and all of us can ENJOY and HUG each other. Thank you for being a Therapist….and thank you for hugging mankind with your understanding and compassion.
Gratefully,
Larry
Hi Larry, I enjoyed reading your post..We all have struggles in life..Guess that is what makes us stronger.. I was so poor growing up, I used to crawl in those big red Salvation Army boxes with a paper bag and flashlight to root and toot for some clothes so I wouldn’t be teased in school. Anyways…I hope someday to meet you in person (If you ever come up towards Tiffin, Ohio?? please?).. I appreciate your honesty and hard work. God bless you always.
Jane
No matter how poor we were, or how pained we were…..as we become adults we get strength and confidence from giving, from sharing vulnerability, from growing and sharing such growth. This is what reciprocity is about. I hope you are enjoying helping others and finding ways to spread good karma. God bless you and thank you for your time and note. Larry
Hi Larry! Your upbringing sounds challenging. I know of some people that have had hard times. What is wonderful is even though you had to go through that, started work in your early years, you come across as a positive, friendly and helpful man! I’ve never met you and hope to some day! I only have your autographed pictures! 🙂
We all have our “crosses to bare”. It’s after that makes a lot of us stronger and gives us character!
Enjoy life Larry! All my best wishes!
Marian Bush
Thank you Marian…..life is full of struggles but we just have to find solutions and trudge onward. Good thoughts….and good vibrations.
Larry
Thank you Larry for telling your story and sharing your thoughts. Your article is very powerful. And you are right, we all face struggles, just different ones. I don’t have a family of my own and my parents are gone so I often feel I am all alone in this world. So I struggle with the loneliness of it. Also I am very hard of hearing which is also a difficult struggle in many social situations so often I just stop trying. But I write my own little blog to hopefully encourage others and I use it just to keep myself going. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here and may God bless in a special way for all you do to help others.
I have always enjoyed being alone Becky….it is not loneliness for me….it is solitude. I am sorry you do not have parents and I think you should subtly reach out to find and form a support group of sorts. People who care about each other…friends…cousing…strangers perhaps.
Anyway thank you…..Larry
Mr Wilcox, I read your story and I can honestly say it truly captured my heart and made me thinking. I’m recently 20 year old and even though I was born and lived in a modern era, I can actually relate to a similar, yet not alike happening.
I have lived in a city my whole life, but me and my family has always been “poor” by the Swedish standards. When one is a child and doesn’t fully understand the real world around, I was very obvious and happy, in a weird way, as I realize today.
My parents were always struggling for me and my sisters. Me included, we were four daughters and my parents couldn’t get a well-paid job and naturally, we got later bullied for not being like others. I mean in the way that kids having the latest games and toys or the most fancy clothes or perhaps talking about some expensive vacation.
My father had dreams about making a better future and unfortunately, he never lived to make it come true. He passed away three years ago, still trying to make a better future for me, my mom and my sisters.
This present day, I have taken over his struggle and fighting to make a better tomorrow. My childhoof ended in the most brutal way, losing a first lovee and then getting bullied until insanity. It might been a very rough awakening, but I realize I only got stronger out of it and helped me to survive.
I read your story here and just think about how strong your heart and soul is. Take good care of yourself and just think of how your strength, willpower and courage brought yourself towards a good today and perhaps a better tomorrow.
I’m just 20, live in Sweden and have probably no chance meet you on a “personal appearence”, but you have become a role model for me and I wish you to be healthy and strong.
From a loyal Swedish fan,
Naty
Well Naty…..you have so much ahead of you. It hurt me to read that your father had such dreams and was unable to accomplish those. My whole life I have moved away from ever being dependent on a job or person. My whole life I have wanted independence and opportunity. That way if I failed….then only I failed. With acting I really think I did not respect being a star of a TV series because I was an employee….and I often felt I did not really earn or develop it myself. So I hope you find a way to make yourself Happy and secure with what you have accomplished. Money is not success nor is starring in a TV Series as you well know. However, at your young age, I hope you try and learn as much as you can in the next 10 years. Search, learn, focus and strive to put your signature on your life. God Bless. Larry
Dear Sir,
I pray this finds you, your wife and children and Sue are happy and healthy now and always.
In 2000, you helped me via email with the passing of my father. My computer course had us join and report on a chat room, so I joined your group as I felt safe. My email name was Chanah Hava. You are very caring and I thank you still today.
I thank you and wish you so much goodness!
With the sincerest wishes,
Mrs. Lora Johnson
Lora….you response in this blog/column is your gift to me….thank you.
Larry
Larry, I have very similar childhood and really appreciated your story and the part about church and God and Jesus. I appreciate you all the more and have an even greater respect for you after reading this. Thank you so much for caring about others so much and for writing this story! Truly may God bless you and yours abundantly! Someone else here said you are in a better place and I praise God that you are for it is true. God has brought me to a much better place as well and continues to do so. You have and still are a part of that in one way or another. Thank you for your part. Blessing on you Larry!
Thank you Diana for indulging me.
Larry
Larry, you are very welcome! I hope i get the honor of meeting you one day and perhaps having a picture together. One survivor to another. Tons of hugs and appreciation for being such a wonderful compassionate person. I feel you are a good friend. God bless you!
Larry,
You struck home on so many points that I can not begin to count. Thank you so much for sharing!!!! It not only made me think back on much of my own childhood, but also, I am a Middle School teacher, and I TRY to explain many of your points to my students each and every year. Where I work, the majority of my students come from very low socio-economic areas and the families are extremely low income. I WISH they had an example like you to look up to and to connect with. They see me now and most of them do not believe that I had the challenges and struggles growing up because I worked my way out of them, so they don’t always believe I understand what they are going through. So, again, thank you for sharing your life and letting others see EVERYONE has challenges!!!! 😀
Lora….I am so glad you are part of our family. May God Bless you.
Larry
Larry, this was and is very touching and thought provoking. Jesus is the answer to all our struggles and He has obviously touched you deeply. You have such a huge heart. You truly are a great guy and friend. I consider you my friend. Hugs and Prayers to your family too. God Bless you and yours.
DaRina – thank you for reading this column this month. May we all hug each other.
Larry Wilcox
Praise God!
To your struggle story.
Larry, thank you for sharing. You have been. Blessed.
I my parents was raise poor. My bother and I was born.the day I was born our dad left as an independent truck driver.
He would be gone a month or so at a time. He come home get truck packand get rested up and go out again. He never had much time for my brother and I unless it was getting him to pick a fight. That was in the 1970’s. Early 1980 dad filed for divorce, while mom and was gone on vacation for 1-2. Weeks. She did have no idea til we got home. He told her to.sign.them. I grew up. He talk how we were a christian family he woulld cut mom do on Sunday morning til we got to church. Then start in on someone from someone at church.
Now I’ve been in a middle of getting divorce.Sunday started my 5th year on getting That is my son 26th Birthday.l
I am still broke worked my life since I was 7yrs. When I turned 16 I worked at mcdonalds.worked different places. I waited 1 semester out of HS then went to Jr college. I have a teachers aid degree and certified Nursss
Congrats Darlen for hangin in there…..keep up the good work.
Larry
Larry
Your column was absolutely beautiful your mum must have been a terrific lady. I am a mum of 5 and i raised them on my own the 2 were special needs. They have all grown up now with families of there own. Im so proud of them all. You talked about how bad heroin is over there here in Australia ICE is the bad drug. I have had many dealings with it through my daughter i have been to hell and back eith her. She is all cleaned now and is about to become the mum of 8. It has been hard but i look at things this way there is always someone else iut there a lot worse off then me. I just hope and pray that one day our world would be a better place but that seems to be a long way off. Again thank you for sharing your column your a wonderful person Larry i grew up watching u on chips i love watching my dvds. Im saving despartely to come and meet u and Sue at one of your appearances next year – hoping you have some.
Take things easy
Toorah
Toorah….yes the drugs just ripple through a family….devastating for money, for emotions and for trust and belief……it is an ugly spiral and Moms seem to never give up which is great. God bless you Toorah and I hope you find joy and peace with your daughter and the rest of your family.
Larry
Thank you for writing this piece, Larry. Very thoughtful and well received.
We all have struggles throughout our lives. I am glad that I came from humble roots (not always easy in so many ways), but it has given me an appreciation for all I have worked to achieve as a human being. I am still working on it; it’s a lifelong process if we are truthful with ourselves.
So thanks again. You have given me things to ponder and I am grateful.
~Namaste
Eugena
Eugena….glad you enjoyed the piece. My goal was to hope that it gave you all something to think about and to internalize and then share with your loved ones. Good luck….
Larry
What a very touching story, this should be a movie for tv, if ain’t already. Also inspiring as well. Thanks for entertaining us and keeping me out of trouble.
Thank you Lynn for your time. Well I guess we need to sell this story to NBC…..LOL
Larry
Wow – Just Wow Larry. I don’t quite know how to put into words how your column has made me feel. My heart raced as I read and tears came to my eyes. My heart bleeds for your youth and some of the thing your had to go though. But especially the murder of your sister, how sad and horrible.
I am so lucky that I grew up with 2 loving parents. Not that they didn’t make mistakes, but as I’m sure your know what parent doesn’t. They gave me the world, well at least the USA. We traveled a lot and I got to see so much land and history. Things I will remember the rest of my life. But besides that and more importantly they gave me food, shelter, clothes and lots of love. Sometimes I almost felt to much sometimes, they were very over protective. But at least they cared some don’t. Some let their children run wild. At 16 they were going to a function for work and they wanted me to have a babysitter, the woman took one look at me and asked how old I was, when they told her 16 she said, she is told old for a babysitter and left, lol.
I am so glad your shared some about your faith. And you are correct you can talk about sex all you want but if you mention the name Jesus they look at you like you said the most foul word. The 2 things that I hear people say that hurts me more than anything is when some uses the GD or JC words. It’s like ripping my heart out. My precious mother gave me my faith, she took me to church and taught me about God and Jesus or the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The bible is an amazing book and I am proud to tell anyone who will listen about Jesus and the fact that I am a born again Christian. I am so lucky that I work with ladies that believe and we have talks all the time and we even sing church songs from our youth. It is amazing.
I feel honored to be your fan and it’s funny but I do consider you a friend, a long distance friend. Thank you for your words and again giving us a small glimpse of the real Larry Wilcox. Thank you for being such genuine, considerate, kind and loving man. God bless and lots of hugs!!!!
Cathy….weird I responded earlier to this post and now I see the response is not present….so I will simply say thank YOU for reading and sharing. Make sure you hug yourself today and someone else.
Gratefully,
Larry
Hi Larry
Very good reading. I think everyone has struggles in life, some worse than others of course. For the past 7 years I have struggled with a miscarriage that I had which was really bad. It took me a while to actually speak about it. Every time I tried, I broke down in floods of tears. What I had to remember was, that I wasn’t alone in my grief, my husband was upset, but he never once showed it because he was helping me to move on with it. I was an emotional wreck. I have now accepted that we will never be parents. Don’t get me wrong, I feel kind of “left out” when I hear friends talk about their kids or how they have become Grandparents. But, I get up each morning, smile on my face and get on with the day ahead. Although the memories of that day still stick in my head and it won’t let me forget. But with the love of my husband and the strength he gives me, I get through each day. Thanks for sharing your story and showing that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. A true gent and a great friend for all us fans. Always stay happy Larry xx
Hi !
Boy! That brought back some memories for me hearing stories from my parents. Also, with what I am going through right now. I drove for a Cab company back in 2000. I had went to this one town about thrity minutes away and I stopped at Mcdonalds to get something to eat on the way back. When I turned the corner, there was a person standing there with a sign needing food. So, when I went through the drive-thru… and then went to leave, I stopped and gave that person my meal. They were grateful to get it. I felt good that day too that I had helped someone. I am honored to be your fan. I would like to some day meet you, but I believe that if we don’t meet on this side of Heaven, that we will meet one day Up yonder :)…….
Thank you for sharing.
God Bless and Hugs
Martha Leonard
Martha….sounds like you still have some obstacles and I hope they get better. Even with your inferred obstacles, you actually gave the man your meal. I believe you get back 3 fold for such kindness and I know your heart was lighter that day…..congrats and Hugs.- Also, I hope to meet you one day.
Larry
Larry
When i was a child i grew up with an abusive step father i had a mum 2 brothers and a 1 sister. I lost my mum a week before i turmed 15. I have now lost my entire family.. im a mum of 5 and nanny to 16 and yes my children and i struggled but no matter how hard things got i always made sure my family were fed had clothes – may not have designer clothes. They have been educated and have all grown up to be fantastic adults with families of their own. In our lives we had to deal with my last to children being special needs a daughter that went off the rails with alcohol and drugs. The only thing that got us through all our problems was love and also the lo e from GOD. Praying to him does help i dont know where we would be today if didnt have it. When i hear of people like you it makes feel great to know there are a nuce people out there who care. Thank you Larry for being part of my life i grew up with you on chips. Again thank you and also your terrific team.
Toorah….I responded to this before but for some reason it is gone. Anyway I am sensitive to your “life travels” if you will and I am glad you survived. Drugs and abuse are so very difficult and without love, God and a support team of sorts….it is almost impossible. God bless.
Larry
Sorry Larry i thought that i had accidentally deleted the first one that went through that’s why i rewrote to you. Please don’t respond to this i was just saying sorry for it coming through twice.
Beautiful story. Should be a lifetime tv story or NBC story.
Cathy….thank you for your time and kind words. I am so happy you had a good life and I hope you perpetuate it in all of your relationships. I can only imagine you and your friends giggling and singing Biblical songs together semi hushed in the hallway…..LOL.
enjoy your life and hug someone for sure.
God Bless,
Larry
This touched my heart. I see so many people struggling in our community and I’m glad that our small church helps the kids in the community.
thank YOU Denise….and yes I am glad the Church steps up also.
Larry
Your words are so spot on. I can say that on some level I know exactly what you mean. I look everyday how can I help someone else how can I be a blessing. I look forward to seeing this movie. God Bless you.
Thank you Jennie….Hugs.
Larry
Thank you so much for sharing a part of you. It’s hard for me to even share that much with friends or family. I kind of keep it all to myself. I’m trying to get over years of ‘struggles’ and I’m trying to let people help. On the other hand, I enjoy helping others, even when I can’t do much, I find something I can do for them. Or I have sixth sense for finding abandoned animals, so I always bring them home with me until I can find a good home or my home becomes their home. Again, thank you and I look forward to more.
Melanie…..took me a long time to realize strength was vulnerability. This raw transparency is what makes you so strong, discerning, and wise over time. I hope you have astute people who will be your support team and not criticize your candor. The negative critque should not be the END, but a signal to move on and find another support team.
larry
Larry you are so right. Up until the last 5 years I was very close to my mom. I was care taker for her especially in those last 5 yrs. But she listened to the wrong people and following their bad advice without any thought what so ever for my safety or more importantly hers put me out in the dead of winter with no place to go , no job, no money for a place to live, no housing assistance nothing! Even after I had given her constant care for the previous 9 yrs. saving her life countless times during that time period. It was more painful to me I think than almost anything I had ever gone through. It destroyed my relationship with her. Her constant negativity about everything and everyone was sucking the life out of me. But since I have been away from all the negativity and hurtfulness from her, I have been able to regain our relationship once more though the trust has been damaged beyond repair between us and the other parties involved. I have continued to show them my love and see them when I can and call them often. I guess what I am saying is that I am in a better place inspite of what she caused than I ever was or could be had I remained with her trying to be her caregiver. God has kept a love in my heart for those who have mistreated me and is still using me to help others as I can. I would be lost without my mom. She isn’t the same person I knew and love but having her around in my life is as was said a gift! I treasure that gift for as long as God allows me the privilege of having her. I’m happier and more productive, and have a job ( and in my chosen occupation I got my college degree in), I have a nice place to live that has more ammentities than what I could have imagined I could afford, I have housing assistance, etc. The doors are opening for further jobs in my chosen occupation all the time. God is truly Good and cares! Blessings on you and all those responding to your story. Thanks again for sharing it with us Larry!
Larry this was so sweet to read! Yes we all have had our struggles but that makes us stronger. Those memories are priceless. I think about stuff that happened when I was young and laugh now about it now. Children today don’t realize what their missing. Info have a question. Did you tell your mom why you were sick? Thank you for sharing this for it brought back good memories for me. Have a blessed day Larry .
Thank you Sherry….No I did not tell My Mom I was sick or why…..became kind of the Cowboy Try in me. LOL….and sometimes that is good and sometimes myopic.
Larry
Thank you so much for your story. I too have struggled. More so as an adult than a child. Fortunately, when you’re a child, not all children, you don’t have the worries that a grown up has. I sometimes wish I was still that child without the grown up struggles.
Thanks again Larry, its nice to know that you do care about your fans.
Glenette….being an adult is a choice and your choice of thoughts about joy or sadness is…..simply YOUR choice. I believe with CHOICE we can create our own reality and it is important that you find JOY in every day of your life. Hugs….
Larry
Books, you should write books. Your writing is so visual, and relates to us all. You are a very kind and thoughtful man. The Peter Principle, it speaks the truth. I so enjoyed meeting you in Pensacola this past weekend. As I told my friends , you emit such strong a positive karma it’s unbelievable.
Suzanne….thank you for coming to Pensacola. Resonance is a theory which I believe is about KARMA….and I like to share my resonance with my fellow mankind. HUGS to you and your HEART.
Larry
Thank you for sharing your story.
You covered so many points.
I’m amazed, you have given me so much to reflect on.
SHARON….that was my sister’s name. May you be Blessed. I hope you reflect in a positive way and find joy and hope in your CHOICES of life. Hugs…
Larry
Larry,
Thank you for sharing your story with is. You were very lucky to have a mom who worked hard to try to give her children all they want and need. As the oldest of 7 (5 brothers and 1sister) times were tough for us growing up but our parents tried to do the best they could with what we had. While there were times I wanted things others had, when I look back I see how lucky I was to have what we did. I am amazed my parents were able to do things with is such as a day trip to the beach or a trip to the zoo but also know their families played a role in helping those trips to happen. We are still close, we all live within 15 minutes of each other and are all actually heading to the Outerbanks for our family vacation on Saturday! 14 adults and 10 children between the ages of 18 months and 14 years of age…..and I can’t wait! You see, without the love and support of my family, my daughter and I would be lost.
In 1996 I met the love of my life. Keith was literally, “tall, dark, and handsome” and I never knew what he saw in me but it didn’t take much for me to fall head over heels for him. He had lost his wife the year before and they had 3 beautiful children, the twins were 3 and their youngest 2. I worked at the hospital day care and he worked in maintenance at the hospital. It was about a year later when we moved in together and started our lives. He had shared with me he was a recovering addict and at first life was good. We hit some bumps in the road and in 1999 he relapsed, with heroin. As you mentioned, heroin turns lives upside down…we started the road to recovery and discovered I was pregnant with our beautiful daughter Rhiannon. It was a rough road but we had his children settled with their aunt while he was in recovery and then it all went to…..he got out, relapsed, went to jail…..He was there for the first three weeks after Rhi was born and then it would be months before I’d hear something. I’d hear a story and think, that was Keith they found. This went on for 9 years. My family stepped in and helped me out in more ways than I can share. Rhi and I always had a place to live, I worked full time in child care and often times barely had enough money for food and gas but it all worked out. Keith continued to disappear, reappear, get it together and only have the cycle start all over again. I had full custody and he paid support when possible. On October 21, 2009 two police officers showed up at 5:00 at work. My sister in law works with me and she was there and they told me in the office Keith had overdosed and died. I will never forget that night. My work family is like an extension of my family and I was so very blessed they were there. They had called my sister to come pick me up, called me the next day to make sure I was ok and really helped as much as my own family. My daughter now knows first hand what drugs do to a family and to an addict. I love him still, he had his demons and I know he is in a safe and good place. Rhi is now 14 and an awesome kid! She is in Color Guard with the high school band, she starts high school in three weeks. She loves life and loves her family and I love being her mom! I truly am blessed to have a wonderful daughter. Since Keith’s passing I went back to school and finished my Bachelors and Masters degrees. I work and save to travel with Rhi and we love it. We go through so much in life but are blessed to have family and friends and fans who support all we do. Thank you again for sharing and I look forward to your next article!
Dear Larry;
As I read your column, I can help to remember one of the most poignant lessons I’ve learned about life; “life is not fair”. But, I also learned that it is important to put some kind of positive spin, without being a total Pollyanna, to whatever happens to us. The same apply to the way I try to look at the actions of others, and it is one of the hardest challenges in life. Despite of that, I believe that allowing our thoughts to be infused with empathy will lead to a better understanding of why others (and us) do the things we do. That philosophy seems also to permeate in this column as well as in “perspectives from a circle”. I both of them I see in your words a concerted effort to show understanding and at moments, hues of compassion. It is clearly the view of someone that had grown into a wiser and more humane version of himself. Something that is only gained through the pass of time and the hard knots of life experiences.
If you did by any chance write down back on these days what you were thinking and compare it with what you are thinking now, I would bet that you could had surprised yourself. As a youth I used to write down about my life and thoughts. I still do occasionally, and when I read the old ones I recognize my essence and core values. However, I do realize how life experiences had change my perspective. I would had never dream that one day I would be as grateful for my failures and bad experiences as I am for the good ones. It is when life brings you down to your knees, that you learn what you really are made of. I sense that awareness in your own writings. I also see a healthy onwards and upwards attitude. It is the only way to go. Anyway, whatever else you do, keep on writing. I think it is one of your gifts. A gift that is not given but that is earned with a lot of work and dedication to the craft. As I told you before, I really like your writings about your childhood. I bet you had plenty of great stories to put together a novel. Look up Edmondo De Amicis children’s novel Hearth. I am not suggesting that you write another “Hearth”, nonetheless those memories of growing up in the country are worth preserving even if only for your own kids to treasure.
With sincere appreciation and wishing you and your love ones all the best
Mercedes
Ahhhh Mercedes….I could hug you. I am glad you see the themes and the issues in the writing. this is not an agenda in my wiring as it is simply sharing and a perspective of pain, joy and love. You are obviously an astute person and I will search out HEARTH. Thank you…..God Bless you and may your Heart fell the resonance of CARING. Hugs….
Larry
Thank you for sharing. I am the oldest of seven kids. My Dad was a lumber mill worker and my Mom stayed at home to raise us. We had a roof over our heads, and food on the table. Did we have everything we “wanted” no, but we had what we needed. I started working when I was fourteen, so I could buy the clothes and things I wanted….and you’re right, it gives you a sense of freedom. And turn about is fair play. When I was an E-2 in the military, my Dads company went on strike and his strike pay wasn’t enough to pay the bills. I sent home all but $50 dollars of my paycheck. I sent it to my Mom because I knew my Dad wouldn’t accept it. He was too proud to admit he needed help. I supported my family for three months. Fifty dollars a month wasn’t much to live on, even when living in the barracks, but my parents had supported me, now it was my turn to return help them.
Now, I work in EMS. I see people every day that remind me that, while I’m not rich, my life isn’t so bad. This past week, I was honored to provide emergency medical coverage to the DAV’s National Convention. While helping these wonderful men and women, I realized how lucky I am that I have my health….I have many aches and pains of age and the physical demands of the streets, but I nothing like what those hero’s were dealing with, with a smile and a grateful attitude. I was truly humbled.
~Blessings to you and your family and thank you again for sharing your story.
Aline….thank you for sharing your story and perception. It is always interesting to me how HUMBLING life can be. It is also interesting to me to watch people who cannot accept humility and are still searching for validity.
Larry
This story made me feel good and cry at the same time. I grew up in a home poor but rich in love for the most part except having to put up with a violent father who stepped out on us and left us with no child support. Than I faced bullying in school by nearly half of the class and the one over the school wouldn’t do any thing about it or even let me defend myself telling me I would be punished if I did. Years later I became involved with a guy who seemed to be an angel but I months later learned how abusive he was. Never kid yourself it’s much easier not getting involved with a abusive relationship than trying to get out of one. Mental abuse can be as bad a slap across the face or a beating. Than this same man if you can call him that stepped out on me majorly bad and tore me and my heart all to pieces. Now I look back at that and realize being stepped out on was the best thing that ever happened to me in that relationship. It freed me from his mental abuse and I knew than I didn’t have to answer to him for things that I shouldn’t of been blamed for in the first place. I’m thankful God was watching out for me and ended that relationship before I married him even though it took major hurt to do it. Yes, healing took place when I put my strength in being a prayer group leader trying to help others not face things I’ve faced and I found strength in teaching myself and others Jesus’ word through being a Bible Study Teacher. It’s seems learning his word was the only place I could find comfort in. I now know being single can be a peaceful life, you don’t have to be married and have a family to be the person God made you be. You especially don’t have to settle for one who won’t treat you good the way you deserve to be treated just to have someone. I’m stronger today because Jesus removed the weak link from my life I believe if I hadn’t faced struggles early in my life I would have never had the strength Jesus gave me to face the harsh world this coward of a man brought to my life. Because of Jesus I’ve learned I am an over comer and stronger than I’ve ever been. I’m better today and better off than I was this time 6 years ago, all thanks to Jesus. Thanks Larry for this wonderful letter.
Wow Shelly….thank YOU for sharing such painful obstacles. I am always confused how this co dependence cycle begins with a mand and a woman but it becomes ugly when abuse is involved and often perpetuates the ugly cycle for years with painful scars. I feel you history of PAIN. God fixes us in so many ways….doesn’t he. I suppose you had to go through this in your search for love and acceptance and your history of abandonment. I hope you are now taking the Captain Role of your Ship…..your life and your future and your VISION of hope and faith. God Bless you and thank you for sharing this story and your sensitive insights. My HUGS to you. I am sorry and yes….HE loves you. Larry
Thanks for the wonderful reply Larry. I will forever treasure it. I have also made a copy of it so I can always read it when I need encouragement or just to feel good. Yes God does fix us in so many ways. Thanks so much for the kind words. You will never know how much that means to me. In fact I really appreciate you telling me how you felt I had to go through this in my search for love and acceptance. That really made since to me because I couldn’t understand before why I had to endure that. I say with a smile Yes, I will take your advice and be the Captain Role of my Ship. I plan to lead my life in the way God leads me to, and I plan not to ever have to depend on another one ever again but lean only on myself as a leader for the life Christ has gave me. Thanks so much for the kind words. God bless you and Hugs to you.
Thank you Mr. Wilcox for sharing your story. It was very touching! I can remember my older brothers building a fort in the back yard made out of beach grass, because I lived by Lake Michigan and they put candles in it for lighting and it caught on fire and the fire department had to come put out the fire! It is so fun to reminance about our childhood! Sadly kids today won’t have memories like we had growing up because of technology and video games. Thank you again for sharing your beautiful story !
Sorry about your fort burning up…..I had a similar experience my first few weeks in Vietnam as it was so cold I had candles under my cot…..LOL. Anyway, I am grateful for living the life of Huck Finn….
Larry
Hi Larry ,
first I want to apologize for my bad english …
I read your column with great interest . It was an interesting but also sad Story. Each of us will eventually placed in life struggles in the way . Every time you will be a little stronger . I also had a few struggles in my life . It was not always easy .
I look CHiPs since I am 15 years old . Here in Germany the first episodes were broadcast only in December 1989 . I ‘m a big fan of chips and you . You were the best!
I looked 4-5 episodes a day. It distracted me from my daily life with my sick mother .
I wish you all the very best and the most important thing a long healthy life with your loved ones by your side .
Best Regards, hugs and greetings from Germany
Sabine
Sabine….thank you for watching CHIPS and I pray for your Mother and for you. Enjoy the TIME with her as that time is a gift.
Larry
Hi Larry,
Just finished reading your article and wow what a blast from the past. It’s funny you think you are the only one that has ever been through tough times and then you hear about others. My mother was in a bad relationship with my dad and it never ended well. The drunkiness the beatings the yelling was so much to overcome. My younger brother and I lived alone with my mother. She didn’t work so she was on welfare and it was shaky to say the least but I have to give my mom kudos she got us through it. But it’s funny how it seems to trickle down to the kids and you struggle and don’t even make it pay check to paycheck. You work but never have enough for food or the bills. Then you get married and it’s even worse. Eventually down the road you get divorced and now you have your 2 kids to worry about. It’s seems like there is a never ending of suffering and you just can’t seem to get it right. I just don’t know anymore. Now my kids are working and long hard days and they can’t seem to get it either. Struggles seem to follow you and never let you go. It’s just so hard and all you want is to be with the person you love but even that seems to be so faraway as you live in limbo trying to figure things out. I just don’t know anymore. I have to say your article has hit home really hard here and I just don’t know if I can do this anymore. I’ve fallen and struggling to get back on my feet. I just want to say Larry is it makes a person think long and hard about life and what’s it really all about. God Bless you Larry you are a one joy in my life next to my beautiful girls. Take care.
Larry, I am really touched by what you have written here. Life is very complex. I have struggled in one way or another all of my life. I have a good job as a 6th Grade Social Studies teacher and have done this for many years, but now I struggle more and more each year to relate to these kids and the difficulties in teaching this age group. It’s hard to stay positive. I feel like I am not making a difference anymore. Still, your words somehow give me hope. I can relate to many things you have written in this piece like being a little brother with a similar big brother and sister. I think I’ll go see Southpaw soon. I’ve been thinking about it for some time now. Thank You.
Thank you Sabine and may you enjoy your life.
Larry
I loved the lines you wrote larry car me more I lived in wealth by my parents were done their possible for 10 children are happy that was not easy at times. my parents had a lot of heart and tendermess for 10 children. the fight was harsh. still thanks larry this line that I read or I find a bit.
I loved the line you wrote larry car me more I loved in wealth by my parents were done their possible for their 10 children are happy that not easy at times. My parents had a lot of heart and tendress for 10 children . the figth was harsh. Still thanks larry this line that I read or I find a bit.
Merci pour votre temps
Larry
Thanks for sharing some of your personal struggles it helps put things in perspective. There is always someone worse off than we are, but yet we tend to forget we are not better than them…may we each try to encourage someone today rather then tear them down, Have a wonderful and blessed day
Yes there are lots much worse off….and that is my point. I deeply empathize with their plight and I hope we all form a SUPPORT team for such.
larry
Thank you so much for sharing this with us-you are a talented writer and this piece really touched me. Your kids are lucky to have such a wise and sensitive parent. I am looking forward to meeting you in Nashville next month. I hope Sue will be there as well? She does such an amazing job on this site and your Facebook page, always kind, helpful and knowledgeable. I hope you love and treasure her as much as we fans do!
Thank you for your kind words! ~Sue
Lois….I continue to try and evolve as a Parent as it is a learning process. Thank you for recognizing SUE and her talent and sacrifices and dedication. Greatfully,
Larry
I think it’s awesome that Mr. Wilcox allows fans to reach out to him. I’ve been dealing with major health issues and times spent watching the show cheers me up. Always been a dream of mine to visit California and to finally see the ocean for the first time. His story puts a human aspect they we don’t see as the actor do watching the show now and knowing you can actually talk to the star really puts a new and exciting spin on things.
Thanks for everything you’ve given us fans without even knowing it
Michael….I am sorry you are going through Health issues. I can send you free some of my vitamin products if you think it would help. http://www.Nutrisquirt.com
Larry
That is so nice Mr. Wilcox and thank you but doctors say not muchore can be done thus having to stop working which was my passion. Silly as that sounds with never being married and no children my work was my life. Within the last couple months I lost my dad and BEST friend due to his passing at 87 and it gets lonely but just you actually answering my comment! Well that really threw a smile on me.
Would love just to say thank you friend?
I’m honored, thank you again.
Michael. Sorry bout the long response
Larry this was beautiful to read I had a tear in my eye. I have seen Larry now, nit just John from tv, and I love you even more but not in ‘that’ way but as a gentle kindhearted soul a warm tender soul, whom I still admire and am still a fan of. I have struggles too and I try to cope, I have several illnesses including cancer and kidney disease I try to understand why as some days are surely tough but I try to laugh each day. You have inspired me my friend. God bless you Larry
I’m probably one of your younger fans(age 34) but all the same i can relate and appreciate everything you were talking about. My mom says i was a very easy child when i was little. We were very poor for years but i never asked for anything hardly ever, and when i did my mom would tell me we couldn’t get it and i would just say ok and never thought anything of it. I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like it was going out of style but it was part of our staples. I never complained about eating those sandwiches, i guess i just figured that’s how it worked! You get hungry, you eat a peanut butter. Anne jelly sandwich and everything was good! I guess when you’re young your oblivious to a lot of things. I had 2 parents growing up but my dad was a big scary alcoholic that i hid from at every chance. He just passed away a year ago this fathers day of 4th stage cancer. But i remember and i never forget the 2 shows my mom would let me watch everyday! Tarzan and you’re show CHIPS. I wanted you to be my dad. You were strong, you saved people and you captured the bad guys. I knew if you were my dad i would always be safe! As a little girl it’s everything to you to feel safe. I learned a lot from that show from your guys attitudes on how i always wanted to be sure to represent myself to others. Not saying i have lived up to that perfectly being im human and had some things to learn by trial and error..but i have always cared about who i am to others and that they could trust me if they ever needed me. Poverty almost feels like your born with it in your jeans, i lived in poverty with my parents and I’m living in it now as a 34 year old. But since I’ve been saved and i live for God and i know his promises he has been showing me that if i just trust him and hold on, that he has me and if i let him he can be in control and provide all i need! It’s been a long road for me but im wiser for it! I wanted to thank you for being the kind of person that i could look up to, it let me know to not hold grudges against men that they are not all like my dad was and that there are some really good guys out there! I know of course that you couldn’t Come rescue that little girl i was back then and that you couldn’t be my dad..but all the same thank you for what you did give me! That show once a day for as long as i could remember aloud me to escape from my own world just for a little bit and provided some happiness! Thank you for sharing a piece of your life with us on here, i one day hope to have kids and have them grow up on CHIPS as well. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter to you ~Samantha
mr Wilcox. I loved and watched chips,but in some episodes of chips,,ponch had a new partner,like in 4 episodes I thought that something might of happen to you
Larry, my wife and I enjoy watching episodes of chips, seeing L.A. just as it was in the 1970’s. I myself, can identify with childhood struggles because my father gambled the majority of money he made as a steel worker. We just did not have adequate food in the home for the most part, during the 1960’s to the early 1970’s. It was a tough childhood for me.
Actually, I was born in Los Angeles, but I was raised in the metro Detroit area. I was just wondering if you know of Milt Wilcox, whom was a starting pitcher for the Detroit Tigers in 1984 when they won the world series. Milt pitched a no-hitter against the White Sox during the season that year. Milt retired a while back from baseball. Now Milt Wilcox is a dedicated dog lover, in which he and his wife operates a water competing competition called “Milt Wilcox’s Ultimate Air dogs Show, which has a website on Yahoo under this title. It is very entertaining to watch the dogs run, jump and dive into the water. Milt’s show schedule is listed on his website. His shows tend to be in Michigan and Ohio in the summer and fall, but he does shows in the warmer regions like Florida in the winter. I have met him, although I do not know him personally. Now it would be cool if I could introduce the both of you, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Tom
I love watching Chips and all your re runs i currently have a small child who has heart problems and we were at his last check up lasted a few hours chips was on so that helped pass the time. You are so down to earth and still bring a smile to my face thanks for everything.
I enjoy reading Struggles…I met you in person it was the greatest moment in my life. And it made you more real to me. I watch Chips now I smile because at the Pensacola Comic Con after I talked to you I was going to hug you, but you gave me a hug instead. I always wanted a big brother without realizing it I found one. I grew up watching you and when I met you in person it was like reunion of sorts. Yes we all have struggles sometimes you don’t think you will survive the madness. Its how you rise above it all that defines you as a person. Every day I wake up I say it is a good day…it means God isn’t done with me yet. I got to tell you talk about those mayonnaise sandwiches it reminds me of when all there was in my house was cheez wiz, bread and a toaster. I made enough cheez wiz and toast to feed my feed my whole family and the neighbors too. These days I can’t bring myself to buy the stuff. How often do you have those mayonnaise sandwiches? Your Friend Always, Darci
I got to tell you Larry Wilcox I would like to send you a Christmas Card but I want to make sure you get it. I don’t expect anything from you. You are simply a new member to my family that I want to include in my holiday newsletter and what a newsletter it is going to be this year. I am grateful that I actually met you. You keep smiling and keep your head up. Always remember you are braver than you believe stronger than you seem and smarter than you think…..my favorite winnie-the-pooh-ism. Even you need inspiration to keep you going. Darci
Hi Larry,
I have always known your “sensitive and caring” side. Even as a child watching the show you drew me to you by how well you handled situations. Yes, your an actor but even the best actor can’t bring “heart” to screen. You had sincerity and an honesty about you. I have always respected you for those qualities. As far as struggles are concerned. You certainly overcame more then your share and as a life-long work in progress myself, I appreciate the magnitude of success that you have achieved. You could have easily grown into a hard hearted and bitter man but instead you allowed your heart to remain soft and foldable like a piece of clay and through your adversity have found nuggets of lessons and wisdom to not only humble your physical self but also strengthen your spiritual self. What a wonder you are and a blessing to all who have crossed your path over the years. I often wonder why people shy away from deep, intellectual conversation about life, lessons, Jesus, wisdom, etc. Every person we all come in contact with has the opportunity to learn something, if not about ourselves them about them. I am not a Christian but I do believe in Jesus and through His teachings have applied so much through Him into my own life and have become a much better and more peaceful person. If there is a God, then May He bless you and your family and May you continue to grow into the best possible you there ever will be. As far as the judicial system is concerned? I leave you with “my sentiments exactly.”
Well said Sir! Thanks for sharing your story. I found it very inspirational. I have always been a fan of the handsome blonde guy with the twinkling blue eyes and gorgeous smile. Now that I have found this website and am learning more about you as a real person I am even a bigger fan!! Keep up the good work. Oh…and as for parenting….whew…it’s always a work in progress. By far..hardest job I have done.
Larry,
my name is Kevin Hinsdale. I was told that you and my dad were friends in school. His name was Lyle Hinsdale. I died in a car wreck in Wyoming in 1978. Though I have grown up and have a family of my own I would love to hear of stories of things my dad did when he was younger. I was only 8 so didn’t hear many stories. My mom tells me that they use to stop and see your mom when they went through.
Thanks
Kevin
I left a comment about 5 days to a week ago and it stated that it had to go through moderation before being posted. I still don’t see it listed. If my comment was not accepted for a reason, please let me know why. There wasn’t anything offensive or derogatory or inflamed or judgemental within my comment. I don’t understand why it would be rejected. I appreciate your response to this. Thank you.
Your comment was posted. 🙂
Larry,
Many thanks for always reaching out to your fans and offering some insightful and thought provoking struggles and realizations that struggles is a part of life.
How we accomplish and overcome these struggles, only strengthens us and makes us stronger.
What doesn’t break is when we’re down at the punch, only makes us stronger to overcome any obstacles.
Wishing you success to you and your family!!
Rodney.
Hi Larry
I just found this website as I’m about to retire to bed. Have Blessed day. I’ll catch up on this reading tomorrow.
Hi Mr. Wilcox
Thank you for your beautiful story about you and your family and your experiences through life, it just proved that you’re such a real person , just like many of us out there. It’s takes a real man to share his life and not hide anything. I think you’re an incredible actor and person.
My family and I came from Vietnam during the war as boat people, we lived in refugee camp , came to Canada seeing my parents struggled to survive, losing my brother to hatred but all in all by the Grace of GOD we are very grateful to HIM for HIS love in our lives. We are blessed in so many ways. If it wasn’t for our SAVIOUR we would have nothing.
I love your character as Jon Baker on Chips , you and Mr. Estrada are a perfect match and no one ever can redo those two characters. I wish you had continue with the show, we need more good TV show for families. The show has humours, actions, great stories about the community and the law. Many of the cops shows now are extremely violent and full of sex not ideal for families watching. I remembered watching when I was just 10 years old and I did learn a lot about law and order.
Now at 42 I watched the reruns every day with my 70 years old Mom and we both love it. When I have kids hopefully soon , our family will be watching it together. My Mother asked me the other day, is Officer Jon Baker still alive? I said yes Mom , Mr. Wilcox is still around and he’s two years younger than you. Oh thank GOD , and she had a huge sign of relief on her face. He’s old enough to be your Dad she said because I told her you were my favourite. Lol. I said he’s still as handsome as ever.
There! Just to say we all love you , hope to see you on the scene again. GOD bless you and your family.
You are so cool! I don’t believe I’ve read a single thing
like this before. So good to find somebody with
genuine thoughts on this subject. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this
up. This web site is one thing that is required
on the internet, someone with a little originality!
Larry
I never realized what a deep intelligent person you are. Thanks for your service. I grew up poor too, but had 2 parents who worked us into the suburbs, where life is good.
Intelligent, sensitive people can go either way. You made a positive difference. Thank you. I am enjoying Chips seasons 1,2,3, on DVD.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_Disintegration
Hi Larry,
Thanks for opening up about your struggles through life. I can relate to the feelings of inadequacy, but through a program called Celebrate Recovery, I have learned to have value in myself and not rely on opinions of others. I liked Chips. You and Erik were a great team.
Hi Larry,
It has been quite a long while since I have come to this page I love so much. It is not that I have not wanted to or in reflection needed to. I read this articles and know now was the perfect time to come back. I am so grateful for your reflections and your caring and kind spirit and soul. My child Sam and I are starting over again and the struggles sometimes well they seem insurmountable but thru this I have learned much about myself, my son and the power of prayer , love of family who and what real friends are and found my way back into active faith. I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for all that you do. I know this response is late and veterans day is next week being a veteran I want to say again thanks for your service I appreciate what you did for us.
You touch my heart every time I read something that you have written. God Bless you and your family.. Sam and I watch one episode nightly of the show you are his favorite…mine to.
I hope you are doing well.
Jennifer and Sam
Thank you for sharing. Growing up my parents were fortunately able to provide for us six kids born from 1956 to 1971. But as an adult and parents of three, my husband and I have not been able to provide as well as our parents did. My husband was laid off in 2002 after 15 years at the same job. A week later my oldest brother was killed in a small plane crash. Later that same year we decided to leave California and start a new life in Washington. I believe God put us there, a beautiful 10 acres in the high desert. Beautiful sunrises and sunsets and a very welcoming community. This was a time for us to grieve for our lost siblings (my oldest sister(34) & brother(46) and my husband’s brother(39)) along with the life we knew. After six months in Washington we decided to come back to California to be with our families. We came back better people. We have had some good times and some not so good times since. Through the past 13 years we have learned to put our trust and faith in God. Especially during a three year period my husband worked a total of three months due to lack of work in his field of construction. There would be times we were close to wondering when our next meal would come from and the phone would ring or I’d get a text from a friend saying ” meet me at the grocery store. I want to buy you a weeks worth of groceries.” I would think “now that’s a God thing”. As we are still trying to get back on our feet we try and help others going through what we have gone through with our experiences. Even when we were down I’d still remind my kids that there are many people that have even less than us. I know I rambled on but I just wanted to thank you again. As I tell people going through some difficult times “Gods got your back.” Take care and Merry Christmas to you and yours.
I’m watching an old episode of Murder She Wrote, and you are a guest star.you were part of a rodeo, and I thought, wow, you look natural around horses. I stumbled onto your website. Reading your story about your childhood reminds me a little of mine. We didn’t have money, but I didn’t know it. I had wonderful, godly parents. It was my adult life that had the trauma. My son is a Marine in the Reserves. Thank you for your service. My sisters are much older than me, so Vietnam was quite the memory. My brother-in-law all served there. They were Marine, Navy, Air Force, and my ex husband was Army. I’ve always enjoyed your work on TV, and you are even more special because you are a Marine. Thank you for sharing!
Hi Larry! My husband has a similar past as you growing up, only add an abusive father. He’s still dealing with the shame. It’s hard for someone like me to understand, as I grew up in a good stable home, middle child, parents married now for 46 yrs, only girl so I was spoiled rotten. I try to understand his “issues”, it’s nice to hear that he’s not alone in his feelings.
However, 6 yrs ago he had something amazing happen to him. Something that can only be God. He and our then, 8 yr old son, came across an accident on a back road. They didn’t know of course, what had happened. The scene was a handicap bus full of special needs children on a driveway by the road, a white newer model Mustang with broken windshield and the obvious older man lying unconscious in the street. There were lots of people helping the older gentleman, so my husband and son turned around to go the other way. A few days later, we heard the local high school was raising funds for a fellow student who (the young man was severely handicapped, wheelchair bound, barely vocal, but very smart) just lost his grandfather, his caregiver, his authority figure, his supporter, in an accident on that same backroad. Apparently, that fateful day, the boy’s grandfather was crossing the road to get his handicapped grandson off the school bus, when the car came speeding by and hit him. He died as he was being transported to the hospital. Within minutes, the high school baseball coach was at the young man’s side. He stayed with the young man all night. See, Josh, the young man, had already lost his mother to suicide, his father to drugs and alcohol and now his grandfather was hit and killed right in front of him and his peers as they watched from the bus windows. The high school decided to raise $3000 for funeral expenses. They raised an amazing $13,000 in 3 days. We were so proud of these kids, they gave their hard earned cash for a peer. It inspired my husband so much, he and friends decided to help. Josh lived in a delapitated make shift house. His bedroom was the living room bc his wheelchair wouldn’t fit anywhere in the house. His bed was protected from the elements only by a carp and a space heater. Thunderstorms scared him tremendously. Living in the heart of Dixie, Alabama, we get lots of tornadoes and severe thunderstorms year round. My husband looked at the house and decided that the home couldn’t be fixed. Oh, Josh’s only caregiver was his loving, aging and fragile grandmother. But at that moment, my husband decided to make a huge announcement, he and his friends would build Josh a new house on a quiet road. Somewhere, somehow. From then on, it was all God. Doors opened up, he was put in contact with the right people at the right time. He met a builder, that was also wheelchair bound, donate time, and items and a grade A architecture team. He found property, owned by friends of friends that were willing to donate a fantastic lot on a quiet cul-de-sac. He found companies, like a Home Depot and many, many others. It took 2 years, but he and his team, built Josh a beautiful new home, with turning radius in every room for his wheelchair, wheel in shower, and even a full concrete storm room in the center of the home. Josh and his grandma moved into the new home in December of 2012, almost 2 years to the day of the accident. It was a total God thing. My husband just listened and the doors opened. My husband is not in construction and we have never built a house before. Now, Josh can go outside for fresh air, get his own mail, shower himself and even open and close his garage door (which was his favorite thing).
Now, my husband has never had a great father figure. He looks to my dad for parenting advice, financial advice and just common sense on some days. He really wants to get a “dad group” going for other men who grew up the way you guys did. Either with the wrong influence or in your case no influence. He has found parenting teens is extremely difficult. He gets frustrated with our kids easily and needs that something to grasp that will keep him on track and therefor not give our kids “issues”. He’s doing his best, but as you know, some days are more difficult than others.
I can send some links to the project if you like. The Facebook page is Josh carden project and from there, you can access the YouTube links that show the entire project.
I hope I didn’t bore you with so many details. I hope you enjoy our story!
Much regards,
Christie Brooks, Alabaster, AL
Dear Larry,
I was saddened when I read about your growing up poor. I thought it was honest and candid. I grew up financially lacking, as well, not have many material things. My mother made my clothes when I was little, and I wore hand-me-downs as I grew up. But because I grew up on a family owned an operated dairy farm, I always had enough to eat. I did have to work to grow and harvest it. I know poverty creates invisible lifelong scars. It was rewarding to read about your success.
I remember watching CHiPS with my daughter, Wendy, when she was little. Watching the reruns of the show remind me of those sweet moments. We need more programs like CHiPS that show more can be accomplished with a heart and a brain than a fist and a club. Thank you for your contribution to our nation both in the military and the arts. The best of luck to you and yours in the future.
Be safe,
Carletta
4.5
Hello Larry,
I am Alastair. I grew up part in the Caribbean and part in New York. Growing up really enjoyed, watching “CHiPs” and “Lassie”. Today I enjoy MeTv because it brings back so may good memories. Back then TV entertainment was so much simpler and had some innocence to it. Although, I enjoy the Television entertainment of today, most of it seems so harsh.
I really enjoyed your biography blog. It was very vulnerable and honest. I would have had no idea that these were some of the things as a child that you have gone through. We certainly share quite a bit in common. I am happy that you found the film business as a means of work as well as expression. It would be nice to see you on television again. Until we either see you or possibly meet, be well and continue to share your story, it really helps.
5
I am amazed at the raw heartfelt honesty that comes through in this post. Your testimony of struggle is a gift. Our struggles are the vehicles in which we can allow God to mold us into better human beings (if we will not become bitter and allow him to do so). Jesus set the ultimate example of enduring suffering and showing Love for us all (Not trying to sound preachy…just from my heart). I thank God for my struggles….they taught me who I am and more importantly who he is. They have given me a vehicle to show his Love to others. Mr. Wilcox, I grew up watching you on TV in a time when television shows often taught valuable lessons about life….I now watch reruns of Chips with my Grandson….He Loves it!!! My Grandfather was a police Captain and I admired the character you portrayed….But more than anything I admire the man portrayed in the article shared above. I hope to meet you one day. God bless you and your family. Thank you for your honesty and humility.
Well, I fell down a rabbit hole today and landed on this column. These words carry so very much weight. I wish I’d read this article last year. 2019 was a year of bad news, and grief over losing both parents w/in 6 mos of each other. I was so angry with the totality of bad news that I just wanted to write off the whole year. I lost sight of the blessings in my life. I had two parents who lived long meaning filled lives. Dad, a Korean War Vet, supported a family of 3 while going to night school for 10 yrs on the G.I. Bill, all while working for the same Steel Corp. for 48 years. Mum stayed home to raise the final total of 5 kids. They both taught us the meaning of hard work and to love and trust in Jesus. I was also blessed with a husband, who has carried me through this year. John grew up 1 of 10 kids. He’s known a lot of struggles growing up poor. I call him the World’s Happiest Man. We’ve been married almost 30 yrs and he is a gem. We also have two grown kids, Calvin & Gracie. John reminds me all the time that “Life is good!” Thank you for sharing these thoughts.
Hi Larry! I just recently found this website; and I am a big fan of yours. It’s only recently that I remembered how much I loved ChiPs growing up seeing old episodes again. On struggles, thank you for sharing your story; and the thoughts that you have with regard to drugs, alcohol, and the legal system. Pretty insightful. As for me, and to be brief, I was bullied at an impressionable age. I think it’s the feelings that you carry about yourself despite all the accomplishments that you achieve that are hard to let go. I’m older now and wiser and have to remind myself to stay grateful despite instances that may remind you of past hurts. I’ve gotten better. There’s a song sung by Garth Brooks that resonates – When No There’s No One Around. It’s not all the time as life is full of ups and downs. I wanted to drop you a note to say that I hope you know there are still fans of yours who still appreciate you.