“NUANCE”

LarMarRemembering youthful thoughts and girly visions that tickled your tummy and changed your eyes from simple visual tools to lily ponds…… takes me back to the days of The First Date.   I can remember we had to invite a girl during elementary school days to a box social for cub scouts.  I can remember having to do that and wondering why I had to invite a girl as I had nothing in common with her and this was going to create lots of anxiety for the evening.  I knew this anxiety would have a crescendo and I had no tools to identify or deal with this abandoned feeling of chaos.  All I knew was…bolt!  This was not fireworks…. this was someone smothering me with a pillow.  So out of respect to the female characters in this stream of consciousness retrospective, the names and or identities shall remain secret and veiled so not to injure any of them, or perhaps, injure myself.

You know…girls had no toy trucks or graders to play in the dirt.  They had no steelies or cat eyes to play poison pots.  They couldn’t even dig the pots for marbles.  They did not want to ride broncs and not one landed on Iwo Jima in the movies.   I never heard a girl talk about” Cowboy Try”.  I never saw a girl at the Ferris Barber Shop but you know what…. although I do vividly remember one old man who shined shoes there and he was unique with a slow southern drawl, rather understated with his  bad grammar and subtle wisdom that seemed to ricochet off the walls searching for an ear.  Never figured out what he was doing at the barber shop as a boy?  Seems like he just talked and sat in some big shoe shinning chair and spoke in parables.  Those damn parables hung on to my young mind for years and even those never had anything to do with a girl. Weird!  It was almost like there were only a few token girls in my youth.  No one talked about em and no one saw em.

Of course, most of the movies stars were men and it seemed odd they even put women in these movies because they seemed to detract from the main story, but these women seemed to like these movie stars.  When the TV was invented, it had Westerns and once again the men were the stars and Heroes.  I mean, what woman could ever bring down a Hero…. a real mentor for our future life.

As we grew older and began the wonderful “tickle” in life, the initial states of our belief system got thrown upside down.  However, this new emerging fantasy life was so strange it had to remain a secret, because no one ever talked about it.   I used to wonder why these feelings and stuff just popped up out of nowhere it seemed.  I began to worry that……. hey, maybe these fluttering heart palpitations are only happening to ME….and I mean, only me.  Maybe these tickling feelings would go away but deep down you hoped they would stay.  Maybe these feelings were nasty, dirty, and one should run full blast the opposite direction.  Was this just me….and I would wonder if the Priest or Pastor or maybe even a Doctor might know how to deal with these kind of “emotional dreams” and this growing malady.  Damn sure could not discuss this with my Mom.

Later, the boys (my buddies) would talk about really strange behavior…I mean really strange.  And guess what……. this strange behavior would be with a girl; I mean…. involve a Girl.  I never thought about what the girl thought….as I was having a hard enough time just thinking…. but I knew for ME it was overwhelming and selfish.   Whoooooeeeee!   It was hard to think about anything but me.  Then I wondered if maybe you could just try it a little and not get infected.  I wondered how you could enter that taboo land.  I knew one thing for sure, it had to be dark where the boogy man could not see.  So, how could one take that girl to a dark place without scaring her.   I don’t remember any perverts back then just fun loving horny boys.  But, luckily we had the movie theater.  But where could you sit so no one would see what you were about to commit?   I have this ying and yang going on about whether this is wrong or nasty or something…. but this is when I decided to let emotion be the ruling logic and just run with reckless abandon.  I see many males today still proud of this validation.  After going to the movies multiple times with your buddies you found yourself scouting out the vacant seat areas where no one wanted to sit.  Those were like private little dark caves.  Then the next problem became what girl to meet or ask to the movies.  That first day at the matinee, in your dark cave, sharing a pop corn in “her lap” was enough to drive a boy crazy.   Damned if that popcorn would just spill!  But then you had to have enough guts to figure a subtle approach to putting your arm around her as that was the major move.  Usually that took a few big yawns, leaning back and stretching and maybe on the third yawn you would subtly put your arm around her but making sure it was leaning more on the back of her chair instead of her shoulders.  As the movie progressed then you could move the arm down and put your hand on her shoulders and if one of those shoulders were bare……ohhhhh, the tickling would begin.  By that time you did not even know there was a movie playing.  What was weird is that you (ME) were feeling enormous amounts of energy and blood flow and yet this docile little doe was just staring ahead at the movie like she was into the movie.  I mean did she know I was even there?  What did this non-signal mean.  So weird and so confusing!  So, the emotion said (notice I did not say logic) that you should maybe try and kiss her……if you could get her damn eyes off the screen to look at your eyes.  Well, damn if the intermission would come on the screen and the full lights would come on and they would start advertising  cokes and popcorn and milk duds and Black Cows and Flicks.   It was really frustrating because I was getting my grove on in the candy store and the lights beamed me right out of my groove and almost put me on stage in front of everyone.   All your buddies would walk by and start laughing and give wide eyed facials as if to say……”well, did you do anything” as if it meant the badge of adulthood while only thinking about the me, me, me feelings.  Amazing how indulgent the predatory mind can be.

Then came the infamous parties that one kid would have at his house.  He usually was a rich kid with a very cool basement and probably owned one of the first color TVs in town.  Cool basements proceeded cool cars as phallic symbols.  Cool basements with slow music, Wurlitzer juke boxes meant everything because there were no “intermission lights” coming on and lots of private caves.   There were even upper class girls there that had boobs and were pretty and confident and once in a while would even rub up against you.    If you could only press up against her and kiss her one night…. wow.  Oh, well back to your developing girl friend.  Sooner or later the parent would come down and turn on the lights, chuckle a little and act dumb and tell everyone it was time to go home.    One of the upper class girls would come out a bit disheveled.  Ohhhh man and this DAD wants us to go HOME……. can’t we stay the night?

When things really got hot was when you had your own wheels, and had a radio and glass pack mufflers, electric windows, and tuck and roll interior and 4 bar crossovers or later, chrome wheels with baby moons.   Then the song…. The Theme from Summer Place would be playing on your radio station and you were parked at the infamous Drive Inn Theater………ALONE with your girl.  For people in Wyoming, we were able to get KOMA in Oklahoma City which was a 50,000-watt station that would only come on at nights.  Usually you did not care about getting concessions or even watching the movie.  There were many nights someone would ask you how good was the movie and did you like such and such scene……and you had to just nod and stare because you had never seen the movie.  And then there was the time that a pretty Mom asked me to take her to the Drive Inn and she did not stay sitting on the passenger side.  Damn…. I thought…. what does that mean?  That was better than an upper classman.

It was during these times that the emotional conquest seemed to be a simple vector in life that had new moments of kinetic enlightenment sprinkled along damp moments.   It was this time that your buddies became secondary and the subtle transition was taking place and you were blissfully happy and naïve to female nuance.  There was a time when nuance was not even noticed and you wondered how girls could joke about being in control of a situation.  What a joke…. right guys?   Little did you know there was a new player standing on the pitcher’s mound and the curve ball was confusing and wicked.

And then you began the long male slide, the transition and decided that being honest and vulnerable were new badges of maturity and commitment.   As you stared into her eyes with pure awe, mixed with raw soul and heart you had never explored heretofore.   You became a poster child for OCD.  The more obsessed you became with a blissful heart the more compulsive you felt without a choice.  It is not conscious but the emotion is now a lightning bolt that declared who your being is from moment to moment.  Lightning bolts of emotion used to come with some punk spitting at you, or hitting you or saying something about your mom or girlfriend.  Now it seemed like lightning bolts came from her beautiful and mischievous eyes, her flowing lines, her arched back,  her soft requests for her hero to step up and then the flick of her lioness mane along with her perfume that you wanted to take home to your bathroom.    These indelible images in your conscious have you joyfully running and leaping like a well trained pavlovian dog.  The long phone calls, the steam filled car windows, the passionate river walks all cascade into a dopamine dream that renders you full tilt with blood flow.  The love songs on the radio, the lonesome nights in the military, the sunsets and of course……the eye lashes and the hour glass.

It is at this moment that the girl has won the conquest and the question is she satisfied with such power that you have unknowingly relinquished or must she continue the indulgent journey just like you did.   Now, some journey’s come” balanced and some imbalanced.”   Imbalance causes fear and how one handles and communicates about imbalance is of course the key as any marriage counselor will babble on and on about.  But in youth…..there is not a whole lot of “logical communication” going on.

Sometimes these imbalances cause what I call emotional bolting.  Some imbalanced conversations begin with someone saying after a hot evening that they now want to be just friends, or they need more space, or they made a wrong decision with someone else and they are sorry.  WHAT?  Each of these “imbalanced communications” create a deep pain, an emotional pain that can find no cure.  Death and a loss of your wife or girlfriend are some of the most confusing, searing and scarring pains in your life.   Don’t these women or girls care about MY feelings?   They are hard to understand that is for sure.  You would just feel lost and even seem suspended in a dark lonely horror move and your muscle or strength has zero influence.  If you decided you want to ask about the so called “wrong decision” and they answer with the sly…..”I do not want to talk about it”……you better run for the woods and begin to write your own drama……. as you abandon and transfer emotions as fast as you can run.  Along with this comes anger and rage, threats, and the beginning of a choice of more self indulgence and the life raft for emotions called rationale…..which is purgatory or the long and hard process of growing.  Yes, it is perhaps your fault, your personality, your choices, your emotional ignorance that you now have to address.  This is God fixing you and he is not done.    This painful time is usually a great time of learning and understanding a point of view beyond yours.

Over time man’s growth should be a never ending journey and hopefully he shares it with his off spring so that they will have some clarity with respect to nuance and the confusing signals of emotion versus logic.    Often a person whom has experienced abandonment, abandons……  as part of both habit and familiarity.  The intersection of growth or habit becomes a choice of whether you want to support the growth of a person or not, while you learn to sacrifice the child ego of me, me, me for someone else.  That child ego has a deeply pained ego so you must stay clear of those choices.

Ironically I have been a protagonist and the antagonist in life.  However, as my logic increased, and my emotions decreased I began to see girls and women in a different light.  I knew that males had strength but often that was their problem.  I knew that we were in charge…. but that was myopia.  And at 68 years of age I find myself still learning about the female tool kit or better stated arsenal.  Perhaps the following paragraph will give you insight.

Today, my wife told me to get off the computer in my male cave and come help her.  I came out to see her loading lumber in the pick up.  She was in her work out tights, in perfect shape and pretty blond hair.  She then told me to plug in the blower which I did and she began trimming and then blowing the leaves like a macho male gardener.  Then she told me to get in the garbage bin and tamp down the bushes so she could put more in there with her pitch fork.  That is when I gave her the Leo the Lion look……like….” are you serious?”.   (does she know who she is talking to) She laughed and winked at me….and said …..come on my hero…..get your skill saw out and cut a few of these boards.   So, I got out my hand saw to do it “manually” like a real man.  When she was all done, she wheeled the bins back in place, plugged in her Fiat, and went to shower and fix me a Beet drink so I could continue pumping blood.  As she jumped in her electric Fiat I said…now what are you doing and she smiled….going to get a manicure and a pedicure.    Hmmm, as I shook my head in confusion and wondered who is on first?

I was thinking today about my wife……and wondered how such a pretty girl cold have played with Tonka trucks, did dry wall and rode horses.    Hmmmm, but she never rode in a rodeo in Rawlins Wyoming, that’s for sure.  Oh yeah……as I pondered a few of her minor accomplishments…..well she did make the Olympic Team and the World Championship Team  in Helsinki Finland so I guess that should count a little.  But she cannot change a truck tire!

Man learns to love denial……part of validation.  Damn this apron looks nice on me but I prefer my chain saw.   It is at this moment I am shocked to hear this blood curdling yell……. TIMBER…………the trouble is…..SHE was yelling TIMBERrrrrrr and when she was done yelling…. She starts that mischievous chuckle and she flicked her hair and just stares at me……….now what the hell does that mean……..as I look around and see “she did not fall any tree”.  Hmmmm and why is she raising her eyebrows as she continues staring at me?  Does she know I cut a record called Me and My Love…..I mean it is not Blake Shelton but damn girl.  And I just got back from Nashville!     Yeah……OK….it was a Comicon…. but so what, I walked on Broadway too and I went to the Losers and Winners and SKULLS.   I knew I should have never taken those pictures of some of those Comicon fans in costumes.  Sure enough, the other night we are going to dinner before seeing Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible, and she actually shows our friends the Comicon pictures……and laughs.  But…. gotta love a little humility and humor mixed together.

Damn nuance.   I am going to go watch Peyton Manning and the Broncos where I control the channel changer and no one is taking it away from me.   Plus…. I can switch back and forth and sneak a peek of my old show, CHIPS, back in the day!

53 Comments:

  1. Sabine Kauffeldt

    Very emotionally written. It is truth. My compliments.

  2. Wonderful column as usual. You have a real way with words. What you described are much the same things that we girls went through growing up too. If you can survive puberty you can survive anything! LOL Thank you for sharing both your talent and your thoughts with us. Hugs.

  3. Love it larry looks like the wife win again lol. Blessing to my fav chipers

  4. I’m SO glad my boys can talk to my husband and me about things like this! I hear you on the Broncos, except I’m the one wrestling the remote from my husband! I swear I married the only man in North America who doesn’t watch any pro sports.

  5. As usual, an enjoyable read! It’s nice to know that boys are just as confused and nervous as we girls are. And don’t think for a minute that we weren’t sitting next to you boys in the movie theater just wishing you would hurry up and put your arm on our shoulders! How fun it is to take a trip down memory lane, and recall all the tricks we used to get you poor dumb suckers…errr, I mean boys…to finally give into our charms!

  6. WHEN are you going to write that book, Larry? You have a wondering mind, and use words to weave beautiful pictures! Thank you for another insightful column!

  7. Reading your posting of “Nuance” brought me back, way back. I was a tom-boy as s kid, but grew into a very Vixen-like heartbreaker in High School and beyond.

    So many of the thoughts and feelings you’ve/had and have I can relate to. Just ask my husband who is 11 years older than myself, and immediately the word “BRAT” comes to mind, along with “Muse”.

    Yes, I am a chameleon of sorts. At 49 years young, I go from looking like a prim and proper lady, well-dressed and dripping in diamonds, to the 80’s Joan Jett rocker chick, leather chaps & boots, plunging neckline, still dripping in diamonds and breaking hearts the minute I walk into any bar or restaurant.

    Yes, I drive a truck, ride a horse, paint, fix things in my house, carry a Glock 9 that is a “tricked” out as my truck.

    Yes, I have experienced some of the same feeling you have shared.

    You have proven that chivalry is not dead….something women around the world deeply appreciate.

    Thank you again for sharing something so intimate and insightful. As a fan, I appreciate you for the man you have become and your family for sharing you with the world.

    Peace and God Bless to you all….

    Respectfully a true fan,

    Michele Lenc
    Windsor, CT

  8. What words of wisdom, and I say Thanks! Great job on the site!

  9. Awesome Column Larry us growing up was both fun, scary, interesting exceptly the opposite sex, going through puberty was not as bad as high school, I survived high school I can survive anything but I with my mental illness I still learning, getting better but it is hard at times thanks for sharing your life with us Larry ( hugs ). Tiffany. S

  10. Hello from Australia and thank you! I woke up this morning to this incredibly funny story. Going through puberty was hard. You try and talk to the kids today and their answer often is “but that was in your time” ” things are different now its harder for kids today” OH REALLY! Again thank you for sharing
    Toorah

  11. Forgot to complement you on your song. It’s on my personal playlist
    so I hear it quote s few times a day! Awesome talent!

  12. Wow, what an amazing story! You are definitely an inspiration for all of us fans. We women have always have to compete with U men to gain equality with u men . It is nice to see U have found a woman such as Marlene who can keep up with U and probably kick your butt if she needs to, Lol.. Sincerely Stephanie Winn.

  13. Girls usually play Barbie Dolls and that isn’t a bad thing. I don’t usually recall girls having toy trucks or graders to play in the dirt (or perhaps they were doing gardening). Girls do enjoy being cheerleaders or volleyball players.

  14. Beautiful reflections!

  15. Great article!! Well written and introspective. Puberty was confusing and difficult but at times a blast. And something I never want to go through again. Lol
    I think no matter how old we grow you never stop learning, especially about the opposite sex. We can only grow a little wiser and just when you think you understand, step back and get ready for another curve ball.
    Your wife seems like a real spitfire. I said that to another fan/friend and she said Marlene would have to be, to be married to you. Lol Sounds like she is a strong and good partner in life.
    Men think they rule the roost, but it is us women who keep the family strong and running. You know what they say behind every successful man is a good woman.
    But I am curious why you think you shouldn’t have taken fan costume pictures at comicon? Everyone else did including myself. Besides meeting you, it was fun and wildly crazy and I can’t wait to go to my next one now.
    Thanks again Larry for sharing part of YOU with us. Take care and lots of hugs!!!

    • Well I took this photo of this big girl with some leaves on her and some purple and orange hair and some weird boots and some weird weapon and said THIS is one of my fans. She chuckled…..and so….don’t get to big a head over this. LOL All in fun

      Larry

  16. I like how you mentioned KOMA. It was a big deal in this part of the country. I remember my dad tuning in to the station and telling me it was out of Oklahoma. Now KOMA AM has different call letters and is talk radio.

  17. Thank you so much for all you write! I get so emersed in your writings that when I get to the end I find myself thinking “MORE, MORE, MORE”! lol

  18. Larry,
    Another great article on the insight of your youth. I was the total tomboy growing up but only my closest friends know that. I played with Tonka trucks and hot wheels. Played football with my brother and his friends. I ride horses and love pickups. No girlie girl here. Never had a pedicure or manicure in my life. But watched those movies to see the male actors show their strength and save the girl. Those feeling go both ways for both sexes. Thanks for your insight to a part of life. Nancy

  19. In reading your words, I could actually visualize you growing up, and in each stage your perspective towards girls slowly evolves.
    The growing mystery of the opposite sex captivated you then, mocking and bewildering you at every turn as each new nuance is revealed. The funny thing is, with your lovely wife I think you are just as bewildered now as you were then. Honestly, we are not that difficult to figure out. But then, why would you want to? Just hold on tight and enjoy the ride!

    Thanks for sharing. Blessings to you and Marlene!

  20. Sorry I missed you during your travles to Caliornia. Glad to hear of your background and reaction to the column. Hugs.

    Larry

  21. Oh I have to say I think when God created Adam and Eve he had to have a really good sense of humor. He created Adam first but then thought that it is not good for man to be alone so he created Eve. Poor Adam he did not know what he was in for but he was enchanted by someone who was not like him. As with a lot of things we sometimes only think about ourselves and then others. We like mystery, and we like to be challenged. Sometimes it’s not what is being said or done but how well one interprets. Larry it is like you when you are playing a character. You have to connect with that character on some level in order to make your part believable. You have to be so attuned with the character that you resonate everything that would portray who this character is but yet there is a mystery about the character because you don’t know how the character will react in crisis. The nuances of men and women are that we all have emotions and we know what it feels like and it is the same for everyone but yet different. Where some may be calm others may be hysterical. Or the Mountain can be a mole hill or the mole hill can become the Mountain. We are all unique in who we are but yet I am no different than anyone else in the human race. I have been married for 32 years and one of the things that we came to realize is we may express ourselves differently but yet we are on the same page. My husband sees marriage as a commitment. I see marriage as “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” One of the things I love about him is that he is always concerned about my needs and yet he struggles with the fact that in order to make sure our needs are met he is driving a truck 300+ days out of the year. And gets frustrated, helpless and feels unconnected when he is needed at home but yet so far away from us. But I know when he is happy to see me, and I know that he loves me when I see his brown eyes light up like a Christmas tree. I know at that point that if I ask him to give me the moon. He would try his best to get me the moon. For me to know that I can have that much power can be very empowering. But that is not what I want. I don’t want a Mr. Fix-it because sometimes only I can be the one to fix things. But I want someone that will see me for who I am and not what they can get from me. I want someone who is going to honor me, accept me flaws and all. To raise each other up and to encourage instead of tear each other down. To help each other fly to greater heights in our lives and yet be happy and content where we are. The mystery of a woman is not what is in her arsenal of tools. It is discovering the qualities that you may not have known that resonates with you that created that bond in the first place.

  22. That’s awesome Larry

  23. Alyson….great and articulate response full of deep meaning for sure. I think we said the same thing in different ways. Thank you for your succinct and lovely response. Hugs to you and your husband.

  24. Hi Larry, your post very interesting. I don’t know if you have an autobiography but after reading this post I would definitely read more. 🙂

  25. Elizabeth (Lizzi)

    Great reading Larry!
    Most girls can do the boy’s jobs these days!
    I had a male Penpal and being a very shy girl, I had never written to a guy before so I was quite nervous. I didn’t have a boyfriend, so this was scary! Now this penpal loved to meet his friends and after two letters and two phonecalls we met. Needless to say, we fell in love! That was 25 years ago and he’s now my husband!!!! The love of my life!
    So, he isn’t much good at decorating or building furniture or even fixing plugs on appliances, but hey, that’s where me, his wife, comes in! I can fix anything, got my own toolbox and very good at decorating and I’m an excellent cook which is rubbing off on my husband! I’ve been teaching him a few dishes to make!
    I think because we are both Virgos, we have so much in common and we never argue or disagree on things. He will encourage my aspirations and supports me 100% in whatever I do. He’s everything I want in a husband and he’s told me a few times that I’m perfect for him. When I think of the many times at school, how the boys would taunt me and make fun of me. I still pinch myself today, to be so lucky to find the man I love.

  26. Sheri-Lynn Gleason

    Great read! Well written, insightful and very entertaining. Nice to see the Leo is strong in you, too. Definitely feel you on that. “YOU are telling ME what to do? Oh, no…”

  27. You know Larry I got to say I love your honesty. It is nice to know you are real and that you feel like we all do.
    I know for me personally because I was hurt so much as a kid it was hard to let people in. Trust is a big thing with me. You break my trust it is a long road before I can learn to forgive. It is hard for me to tell people you hurt me please stop doing that. I can’t tell you how many times I cried but no one heard me because no one seemed to care. It was like a cardinal sin if you took off the band aid and show people just how deep the wound goes. You figure as long as you were always a good person and treat others with kindness and respect it should make a difference. Deep down you know the only thing you want is for the people who are suppose to love you and they hurt you. They would at least say they are sorry but they never do. You just get to a point in your life where you say why should I make you a priority when I am only an option.
    The irony is no matter what people do I still manage to find a positive somehow. As long as I keep waking up each day I know God isn’t done with me yet.
    When I met you in Pensacola it was like a reunion of sorts I didn’t know what to expect or how I should be. I actually prayed the night before. I was so excited to see you and to meet you. You are like this big brother I have always wanted but I didn’t know that I needed. I hope that is okay to say. Thank you for being my positive and for writing your blogs. I love them. Is your music available through amazon? I love your voice. Keep smiling for I always am.
    I gave you a bracelet but you gave me a hug it was the best gift I have ever received. Thank you for adding color to my world.

  28. Since I am a year older than you and grew up in the same time period, I can relate to so much of what you have written. I laughed my way through almost the entire article but there were some moments that gave me pause to remember how painful that time in life can be as well. It also brought back memories of my late brother who both my sister (also deceased now) and the agonies he went through as well as the foolish things he did. Of course, we, his sisters were bot immune to these feelings either but many have already spoken of what it was like from a girl’s point of view.

    I really loved the paragraphs you wrote about you and your wife.. She sounds like a perfect match and mate for you. Don’t both trying to figure out the who, what, why or where as sometimes we don’t even know ourselves I think we develop this “power: over men when we first start practicing on our fathers and it just seems to grow to grow naturally from there. May the two of you have many, many more enjoyable years together.. She sounds like such a fun person!

    Thanks for writing this and the wonderful memories that came along with it. Laughing is always good for the body and soul and while reading this, certainly did plenty of that. Keep you articles conibg — we all enjoy them so much!

  29. larry I greatly love your column about women. You talk about in are perpetual which seems to me very joly . Bravo I get tired not to read or re-read.

  30. M. Mercedes Hernandez

    Dear Larry;
    I had the opportunity to read you latest piece “nuance” over the October’s Canadian Thanksgiving long weekend. I am sorry to tell you that this was not one of my favourites. I’m a bit hesitant about sending this, but I trust Sue’s judgment and I know she will not put it up if she thinks is it inappropriate for the site. Please forgive me if any of my comments are hurtful to you. They are just my humble opinion, and they are meant as respectful constructive criticism. Also, you should take them with a pinch of salt. After all I am only a biologist and not an English major. For starters, I had to read the column more than once to figure out what you were trying to say. Maybe that is because English is still my second language. Perhaps the effort that you made to keep both the names of participants out and/or the overt avoidance on calling things as they are, as you had done so well in other pieces, took away the best of your style. I understand why you did it but it made the piece harder to follow for me. The part about “the yawns, leaning back and stretching the arms” to eventually put them over the girl’s shoulders is a “move” that I have seen in some movies and sitcoms. So, girls may realize quickly that young fellows are not very original in their moves. I liked some parts of the column better than others. For instance, I like it when you describe the interchanges between you and your wife. I think this column was a reflection of the stages of your mind/psyche and soul as you went through the “girls are odd creatures” stage to the 360 degree change in response to the raging of hormones and puberty, were girls became the center of your attention. All eventually leading to the classical male point about “I don’t quite get women, but they are cool creatures and I am glad they are in my life”. Again, the part where your wife tells you to get off the computer and so on, reads very nicely, but when I get to the last paragraph I find the writing a bit confusing. Maybe is the unedited natural way it came out when you wrote it, or my own inability to pick up on these nuances. One thing that seems to come out loud and clear, is your realization of your wife’s ability to bring you back to Earth after those ego inflating conventions where people may make you feel like you are the “king of the hill” for a while. You obviously found the Yin for your Yang in her.
    Respectfully and wishing all the best as always
    Mercedes

  31. I am now and always have been a tomboy, much to my Dad’s dismay. My husband, of 32 years, loves the fact that I don’t “NEED” him around, but that I “WANT” him around. He says that means I really love him and I’m not just dependent on him. In my job as a Paramedic, I have been in many real fights with male patients. They usually underestimate me because I am a woman…the fact that I have grey hair can make them over confident. Too bad they don’t even consider that I’m ex-military and not going down without a fight. I’m not bragging…just stating a fact from my world.
    None of the above keeps me from being a lady, but it has made me a lady that can take care of herself.
    You have a wonderful woman in your life, and she is lucky to have a man like you that supports and loves her….just the way she is.
    Take Care and Stay Safe.

  32. I got to ask, do you see episodes from season six? Don’t blame you either way.

  33. Christie Brooks

    You are still so cute! Your words are so sweet and still has the ever prevalent taste of the little boyish humor. When I was young, I thought I had boys figured out. I grew up with 2 brothers and I was always by their side as we exploded the GI Joes and match box cars. It wasn’t until I began dating that I realized boys had a hard time trying to figure us girls. I didn’t think we were that complicated! But now that I am raising my own boys, 14 and 12, I have learned to swallow any shyness or embarrassment and just be out right honest with them. I have told them what we expect as parents and what God wants for them. The rest is their decision. Sometimes my youngest tells me TOO much about what goes on with his body. While I am glad he feels he can talk to me, there are some things a mom doesn’t want to know! Thank you for your insight and I love reading about you and your adventures!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *