Easter Memories

The Wilcox Brothers…..Wyoming, Easter, Churches, pranks and FRIENDS here, and gone.

Spring and Easter; pinks, yellows and blues; Easter Eggs, Marshmallow Eggs and Chocolate Eggs; Sunrise Services remember the sacrifice of Jesus, and a new Sunday Suit for Randy, Andy and Larry while Sharon would get a new dress to wear to Church circa 1955.   It was very hard for my poor old Mom to afford anything so these gifts were very special and if someone dared to damage them, the war was on.  Today, Randy is gone, Sharon is gone, Mom is gone and the absentee Dad is gone.  Now, just good ole Andy and myself here trying to put our signature on our lives.  Today I was reminiscing about Easter and Wyoming back in the day.

It seemed like I visited a lot of different types of Churches when I was a boy as I was trying to find the correct key to the correct lock in life.  I searched many a church!  As my buddy Curt Penman was a Mormon and his family was my surrogate parents in some ways.  They took me often to dinner, vacations, church and even took me to the famous event in Salt Lake called a conclave which was a HUGE event and a beautiful big lit up city to me.    All of the new visuals, the new sounds and the new colors and architecture were mesmerizing during those special times.  Every kid should and needs to travel and be exposed.  I almost got baptized as a young boy in the Mormon Church and then my Mom advised me that those decisions might be made when I was older and more mature.

Then there was the local Catholic Church which for me was very intimidating.  I went a few times with my friend Jimmy Brubaker to his church.  In this Church they had these women called Nuns who wore clothing that covered everything except what I construed as their homely chubby scowling faces and veiny  hands that white knuckled a ruler as their weapon of choice.  The Catholic Church was always dark, and quiet and huge inside with the leaded windows.   I knew you better not screw up in this place….ohhh shit.

The Holy Water was another obligation that was new to me and it made me feel dumb that I did not know about it as I strolled on in with Wilcox arrogance or ignorance.  The constant kneeling and praying and standing were confusing.  Knowing just when to repeat certain phrases in a robotic cadence was again, intimidating and made me feel even dumber.  And then, to have the Priest stand up and begin speaking in some weird language as I stared up at the adults and wondered if I was in some weird cult world because some of these old people were nodding like they knew what he was saying.   I thought I had better get the hell out of this place as this is not cool what is going on here.  Since I was now dumb and dumber, I was later told by Jimmy or his family that they were speaking Latin and perhaps I would learn that later in life.  I remember the rules too….no eating certain foods on Fridays…..and that also seemed weird to me.  I thought to myself – hmmmn no food rules and no Latin for this Wilcox.  Seemed like a lot of my Catholic friends had to read and memorize the rules and the Bible a lot.  Poor old Pat Chapman could never go play because his Mom had him reading the good book again because he was in trouble.   Didn’t seem to help him I thought!

I remember the Catholic Church seemed to have a lot of Saints and they gave those medals out.  Someone gave me a Saint Christopher medal when I went to Vietnam.  After being in the Nam for 11 or 12 months on the DMZ I was allowed to go on an in country R&R (rest and recuperation) and so I went to Da Nang.  I remember wondering what kind of rest this was as the rockets would come in and the mortars.  Anyway, I got drunk once with a few of my Marine buddies and we had a few fights with the 101st airborne guys and then after that fun was done we went to swim in the ocean.  I was a drylander, a hick and so I did not know what the red flags meant on the beach plus I was drunk.  So I said….come guys…lets go body surfing.  I later found out the red flags meant there were very strong rip tides and I began to drown that day.  I remember being exhausted and then I was unconscious.  Later I woke up throwing up salt water on the beach and my buddies laughing as they had hauled my drunk ass in and saved me.  The funny thing is I lost my St. Christopher medal in the ocean that day, and I knew  that Brubaker and that damn Catholic Church had now jinxed  me and that I would probably get killed in the remaining 2 months I had left for my tour of duty in Vietnam.  I would like to thank the Catholic Church for that fear and my sudden superstitious and or religious belief in St Christopher.  Thanks Jimmy, Pat and you other Catholics.

My church by baptism was the Episcopal Church which was an offspring from the Church of England I think.  I may be wrong but the Episcopal Church had lots of rituals also and I was busy memorizing all of the prayers and quotes.  I was not really doing it to be pious but more so I could just fit in and not look dumb and dumber than the rest of these “whackos” I privately mused.  We did the same gent flex thing the Catholics do and then knelt before the cross before we sat down.   Man these rituals, candles, and verses were confusing.

Then I joined the Presbyterian Church and choir and sang with them for a while.  That seemed somewhat normal to a latch key kid.  I did not know of Jews and Muslims nor did I ever hear of any such reference or I would have been there also.

Our first home I remember was living in the Green House as we called it, in Encampment, Wyoming.  I only remember the water pump we had to use in the so called screened kitchen area and the outhouse where the bees and wasps would congregate and wait for my arrival and sting me in my ears.  There was an old mule we had, and when you pulled its hair near it rear end, it would buck you off.  So my cousins would take turns putting me on the mule and pulling its hair.  That same loving sadistic behavior is what I learned to model with my younger brother Andy later in life and I would torture him.  For Andy, we had moved to a new house down by Sunnyside School with one bedroom and a big lot.  The four children slept in the bunk beds in the one bedroom and my mother slept in the small living room on the couch.  I remember Santa bringing us gifts one year, and later found out they were donations.  But, I did not know the definition of donation so ….all was good and all was rosy.  No shame….just good old gain!

For fun we had an old shed out in the back yard so my older brother Randy and his friends made it into a “club house” and they told me I had to go though initiation.  I said fine…..lets go.  So they all laughed and said that I had to perform and I said fine….lets go.  First they took me down to Sunnyside and told me I had to stand on stage.  So I did so and then they took turns throwing basketballs at me to try and knock me down.  They almost knocked me out.  Then they told me that I had to get my best marbles and play poison pots with them and they won most of my good cat eyes.  Then the last and final test came.  They would time me and see how fast I could run into the “Club House”, jump up on the tall bunk beds they built, and then open the trap door and climb out on the roof and then jump to the ground without breaking my leg or ankle.  I said OK but if I do it in the time required am I in the Club.  Sure they laughed and slapped me in the head.  I said OK, let’s go and the race was on.  They had me do it about 20 times and I was exhausted.  They obviously were lying about my times and laughing as I grew more and more tired.  Finally Randy and his buddy said….OK, Larry, here, chew a little of this chewing tobacco (snuff) and then do it.  I chewed it and got real dizzy and was about to throw up.  They laughed and said now you got to try and beat your last time to get in the club.  I was really sick and felt terrible now.  I went and jumped up on the roof and jumped off and threw up and begin crying.  They circled me, and told me to hush up, so my Mom would not know or hear what they had done to me.  I told them I was going to tell Mom and they said then you can’t be in the club.  So I just laid there sick knowing I was now a member of the big boys CLUB.  Nothing like brotherhood and modeling leadership!

Later I did similar pranks to my younger brother Andy.  Steve Briggs and I would ask Andy to practice boxing with us.  Then we had two pair of cloves.  One pair was old and the cushion in the glove had hardened into a clump of cement so that was the one I would use again on ole Andis as we called him lovingly as we bashed his head back and forth with jabs.  Then we would invite him to play basketball in our bedroom with the little wire coat hanger made into a basket.  When lil Andis would go in for a layup we would slam him into the closet door and he would miss the shot and we would call him a retard.  Oh yes…..we were all sadistic big brothers and our evolution had highs and lows because of it.  But it sure was fun and funny on both sides of the fence.

Our next door neighbor was another Church.  We called that Church the Holly Rollers.  Each Sunday the little Holy Roller Church would fill up and the singing would begin and I mean loud singing.  It got so loud one day, my brothers and I decided to check this out.  So we sneaked over through the bushes and grass like we were real soldiers advancing.  Of course we were in plain daylight so the sneaking meant nothing other than making us feel stealth.  As we snuggled up giggling with mischief, we raised Andy first so he would get caught in case anyone saw us.  Poor lil sucker.    Once Andy stayed there then we would edge up the window next to him.  Our eyes stared in disbelief as we looked in to the yelling, rolling, moaning and singing on this fine Sunday.  We were caught in shock as we stared in fear.  People were now moaning and crying and rolling on the floor in what we construed as maybe some witchcraft and torture chamber.  We saw people touched on the forehead and they fell down and screamed.  We got the hell out of that place and ran back home.  Later we had nightmares and told my Mom of these freaks that are hurting each other on Jesus’ Day.  What is wrong with them?  I am sure my Mom explained but it meant nothing to me because I saw that torment with my own eyes and that was some scary shit!

At a later time I went to a summer camp in a Baptist Church with my two buddies Eric Cantlin and Brad Cheney.  All I wanted to do there was meet the girls and see if we could have some luvin fun!  That was actually an all right camp because it had the lusty challenge of girls everywhere and with lots of thrills luring one to the shadows and bushes.  However,  once again there was some crying and anointing going on  and those damn stages got pretty intimidating.

My home town churches did teach me the Lord’s Prayer, and a few Catholic Prayers including Hail Mary and some others.  I can remember saying the prayer as a little boy….Now I lay me down to sleep, and pray my soul to keep”.  As I laugh and muse over these past “experiences” I think maybe the churches gave my very uncertain reactive life a little hope and surely put some boundaries in my conscious with some clear fears.

As I have grown older I find so many different churches and religions, and dogmas that it is all a bit mesmerizing.  So I have my faith and it gives me solace and I hope you all have yours.  I happened to watch Mel Gibson’s The Passion, the other night and thought about Mel’s choices, this Movie, and the enormous judgment he was now enduring.  His alcohol, his rants, his rage, and his confusion with life were sad.  I wondered if making the movie had some profound effect on his mind and perceptions of life.  I hope he makes it back into loving humanity and himself.

So, as Easter ticks forward and the world begins to try and change the vernacular from Easter to Spring Break we shall see which becomes a vestige based upon the political correctness and the sensitivity of the time in this shrinking global village, planet earth.  Truth and its shadows one states?

This past week my son had been working for his grandmother doing lots of labor jobs for her.  On his way home a girls spun out in front of him and the car right in front of him with a baby in the back seat slammed on its brakes.  My son had to make a decision to rear end and probably kill the baby or swerve into traffic.  He swerved, and he hit the center divider at 55 mph head on and totaled our Suburban.  No one was injured.  The policeman said that even though the girl spun out and the other guy slammed on his brakes it was still my son’s fault because maybe if he was 30 yds further back and at a real safe distance it would not have happened.  (no comment).  As I always say you can control your thoughts or you can let your thoughts control you…..that is part of healthy psychology or pathology.  I chose to believe this was a meaningful moment that my son should be proud of his crisis decision making and that he was spared injury to do better things in this world.

Yesterday I got word that the son of my friend and actor, Bruce Penhall had been hit and killed on the freeway by a drunk driver.  I called and left Bruce my condolences knowing that words mean nothing and are in fact sounding gongs under these very painful and tragic conditions.  Let us all say a prayer for Bruce Penhall, his grieving family and his young son gone forever.  Please tell your loved ones you LOVE them.

Also, I just found out my old buddy and stuntman, Scotty Docksteddar had Huntington’s disease and lived on the streets and in the parks.  He died in December and I knew nothing of it until this week.  Scotty did most all of my stunts on CHIPS and was a happy young man that lived through heartbreak of girlfriends and abandonment from his friends.  He knew he had the Huntington Disease gene marker and knew he would die.  My loving memory of Scotty…..thank you for risking your life doing my stunts….and thank you for the special and crazy parties we had together.  Your humor and wit were always oblique and entertaining.  I loved your individuality!

So on this Easter I would urge you all to think about your PASSIONS.    Passions are how you live your life and Goals are things that you achieve.    Passions are about process and goals are about outcomes.  Have you ever thought about your passions, your ideal life?  What do you love to do?  What kind of environment to you love to be in?  What kind of people do you love to be around?  What turns you on and gets you excited?   Take some quiet time alone and begin to think of these packed away passions.  In tests, most successful leaders have extreme clarity regarding their passions and have often actualized those passions.  Take the passion test and write down your 10 passions and then wait a day or two and review them and reduce that list to 5 passions.  Then begin working and living for those passions and watch what happens.  The New York bestseller, The Passion Test, the Effortless Path to Discovering your Life Purpose by Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood is a wonderful book.  Make sure when you have time, and if you feel that you are just existing and not really living with passion, that you read this book

For all of you….enjoy your Easter and the special time and memories…..…….remember to LOVE humanity, don’t judge, blame and label, but please love and nurture each other.   Enjoy the spirits and the ambience of this special day.

10 Comments:

  1. Mr Wilcox, what a beautiful story…it’s lovely to go back down memory lane and retrace what you did. You are a wonderful human being who doesn’t let things slow you down and to hear what you did when you were a child was heartrending and touching at the same time and you’ve never forgotten where you came from which makes you so special and helps you stand out a mile from everybody else. I wish you and your family a wonderful Easter, may God richly bless you always.

  2. Chris Erickson Wells

    Dear Larry
    Enjoyed your article very much made me remember a lot how Rawlins was when we were all growing up I went to.school with Susan Brubaker yes I’m Catholic went to catholic school I knew ur mom Ray Ring and the people u talked about in this article I cried remembrances r great but sad I watched Chips all the time told everyone I knew u saw u on a lot of Perry Mason shows glad ur son is ok happy Easter to u enjoy the day

  3. Hi Larry,

    Thanks so much for the childhood stories. No one ever has the same life and everyone tells it in different ways. Thanks for sharing yours. Yes I went to a Catholic school and the Nuns used their rulers for lots of things. Nowadays they would not even be allowed in the classroom. My older brother and sister terrorized me to the hilt and some of your stories brought back some of those awful memories.Seems like I was always crying for some reason. Glad your son made a good decision in his accident. They all must learn some life lessons in seconds. I also pray for Penhall family such a tragic loss for them and also your friend the stuntman. Thanks again for sharing with all of us.

  4. Dear Larry,

    I really enjoyed your article and I could see vividly all the adventures as you described them. I love that with your fans you are so open, honest and real with us. I love the fact that you took what you went thru in all the phases of your life learned from it and remembered always where you came from and use that in your daily life to this day. I am so honored that you would share all this and it does make me reflect. I try to and sometimes I do not always remember to but try to tell those I love them that I do in some way be it text, or phone or email. I have also lost my mother a few years back and come thru some struggles. I wrote you about some of them and loved the responce it was in the vetrans article. I have listened to you and thought about it and it is helping. So thank you for sharing a part of you and for helping another vet. I hope you have a great Easter. I am saying prayers for all who need them and special ones for Bruce’s family. You are a great person and I am very happy to hear your son is okay.

    Jennifer Selle Us ARMY Ret

  5. Dear Larry

    I have just read your marvelous article, It is wonderful of you to talk about your past and how you were a normal boy who would get into trouble and how your family is very important to you. I have enjoyed ready this . It has brought back memories of when I was young.
    Your compassion towards others and how you help other has come out in this article. I hope your son is alright from the car accident. You have compacted so much into this. Also the way you talked about the man that did your stunts on Chips and how much praise for Scott. He must have been a wonderful soul.

    Thank you for sharing this with us all Have a very happy Easter with your family.

  6. Dear Larry,
    Thank you, once again for your great story telling abilities. I laughed out loud as you described your childhood experiences and the lovely dynamic that comes with having siblings. Glad to hear your son is ok, and what a very heroic move he made selflessly risking his life to perhaps save another. Congratulations for raising such a great young man! I really enjoy reading your column and “listening” to your stories. Too bad about the Suburban, from your tweets it sounds like you have done a fair bit of maintenance on it lately only to have it totalled. When things like that happen, it really opens our eyes and reminds us what is really important in life and what is just “things” as they are easily replaced and really don’t mean a whole lot in the grand scheme.

    Thanks again,
    Shana Striha

  7. Maristela Oliveira

    Dear Larry,
    thanks for sharing your lovely and touching memories with all of us. You’re a fortunate person who has lived, enjoyed, learned with your personal and family experiences in the past and based on these experiences you were capable of taking important lessons and concepts for your life and family nowadays which is not easy to many sometimes! Life is a cycle that begins without our permission but we can change its course or at least we can try to lead it to the destiny or fate we have chosen ..well we try sometimes for sure but life is dynamic and there’s no rules or instructions on how to deal with it. Ups and downs can go towards to all our expectations! No one is alike, each of us has different experiences, expectations, dreams, disappointments but one thing all of us with good hearts can have in commom:the will of helping (or trying) always those who need mostly besides our familys and friends; Acting all the time as if what we do make difference!This is can be another good definition for passion too. Passion for life in general and in many different situations! Happy Easter EVERYDAY! All the best to you and yours!And prayers to the Penhall Family! Hugs! Mari

  8. William Edgar Casslll

    Lary ,l was on Okinawa with your brother Randy.I was looking through my phone and put his name on. I am really sorry to find out everything that happened to your brother and sister. We were good friends in the Corp .When we went back in the states I took him to L A area to meet his girl friend and his and your sister . We stayed quit a while. I liked your sister a lot… So sorry . ps the unit we were in in Okinawa was Alpha Battery,1st Battalion 12th Marines.Love to watch Chips,it’s on here all the time on reruns.Again so sorry Semper Fi

  9. KIARA CHRISENTERY

    Happy Easter to Larrywilcox to your family

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