Category: Columns

The 4th Quarter – It Ain’t the Whiskey

Funny how the 4th quarter can be the end in so many ways…..the last piece of pie, the last quarter in a basketball game, and the last three months of the calendar year with three major holidays over three consecutive months.  Halloween is the wake up call of the 4th quarter, and Thanksgiving is the alarm and then comes Christmas, just before New Years.  Some people habitually refer to the 4th quarter with a downbeat mannerism or tone in their voice.  The financial pressures of the infamous 4th quarter are off the charts and some people submit to such...

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The Greatest Escape Ride 2013-A Retrospective

As you all may know, on Sunday, September 22, 2013 I had told Dr. Robert Cameron, famous mesothelioma surgeon and Claire Cameron, the Executive Director that I would do all I could for their planned fund raiser, a motorcycle ride up the coast of California.  It became more than a ride in so many ways so allow this old Hollywood Cop share it with you. A few years ago I was jumping on our trampoline with my boys and I noticed I could only do it two or three times without being completely winded searching for more oxygen.  I went to the doctor and had X-rays and the doom and gloom began.  I asked the X-ray nurse how did the x-ray look?  She said she was not allowed to discuss it and I would have to discuss it with the doctor or specialist.  I countered with…”hey, I am a big boy and it is what it is….and all I want to know is the X-ray clear or not” and she stared at me.  She went on to say there is a “large mass” on your lungs.  I said does large mass mean in a lay person’s vernacular, Cancer and the big C word, and she said she could not comment on that.  Over the next 2-3 months I met with every specialist and the response was becoming standard ambiguity. ...

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Chiller Retrospective

During the CHiPs Reunion that Sue Walsh put on for the entire cast of CHIPS, she talked to me about attending one of those autograph sessions where you sell your photos.  I said I was no longer in the media and I do not think anyone would pay for my autograph but I do have fond memories of the old car shows when we used to do this and leave with cigar boxes of cash!  Sue reminded me that Erik and Robert Pine do these from time to time.  I said yes of course, because they are still in the media and they are marketing their names and brand. During the reunion Sue also introduced me to Calvin Spikes who said that he does these celebrity events and they make good money.  I was distracted by the reunion and just kind of shrugged it off like it was no big deal and really it was not for me. Later Sue politely nudged me again and wondered if I would like to do the upcoming one in New Jersey.  I said for her to get me more information and what do people really make at these things because they sound cheesy to me and I do not enjoy that phony celebrity environment of Cheesy!  Sue talked to Calvin and informed me that some people have made significant money for a...

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Applause?

It is interesting to see a person conditioned by their environment, blissfully unaware of what is taking place, and yet being molded accordingly.  The simple Pavlovian theory seems to have had an influence on the snarky and the compliant offspring, knowingly and unknowingly.  Do you recall the first time someone complimented you?  Do you remember your reaction and feelings during those memories?  In some youthful experiences one only tastes the dust of the desert and the lack of kinetics in the vacuum-like tube, called home where one eats, and sleeps during the transition from the other competitive world that defines identity.  My home was for a meal here and there and more about it being a tent in between my next carnival or extravaganza. Interpreting social skills and life was not part of my Wyoming upbringing.  Validation came in various flavors and most of which are no longer socially acceptable in this high density concrete jungle called Los Angeles.  So, one asks, who and what evolves when there is very little attention and esteem building tools.  How does one etch out some form of cornerstone for an architectural need called identity?  When discernment is not even part of the landscape of logic, then one takes a scrap here and a scrap there to try a put together some architecture that looks and feels like a poorly designed jungle gym.  But, if...

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Ask Larry-March 2013

Dear Larry, What was the actual top speed you took your KZ1000P to on the show…any episode. On a few episodes you guys were moving along at what looks to be very FAST – was this you on the machine? ….just wondering. Russ Ventura, CA Russ I am not sure but I would guess the top speed I did was 90-95 mph…..as I was always a little nervous about high speed wobble. I think the fastest I have ever gone on any of my motorcycles in life was maybe 100 mph. I rode the bike at high speeds and slow speeds but most often if it was a dangerous high speed pursuit it was a stuntman and for me that was Scotty Dockstedder who was better on the bike than I was or Gary Davis in the orig episodes.   Dear Larry, My dad was a big fan of your show and I love it too. You’re my favorite. My question is how did you become famous? I’m 8 years old and you’re my favorite CHiPs actor. Rachel Pennsylvania Rachel YOU are famous because you are a miracle. Just look in the mirror and be amazed. Now, when you want to take your FAMOUS self and branch out, maybe you want to sing or maybe you want to act or maybe you want to be a Doctor or a Politician. Who knows? In my case...

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Ask Larry-February 2013

Dear Larry, I know that you were very keen on horses a number of years ago. Are you still breeding and working with horses? What breed are they? My favourites, and probably the most expensive are Arabians and Australian Quarter Horses. Sharyn, Australia No horses right now….just too much work and a lot of Vet bills.  I had Arabs, Quarter Horses, Thoroughbreds and Warm Bloods.  I like Quarter Horses.  I think the Amer Quarter horse is now almost two distinct breeds.  I do not like the big boned quarterhorses that work on ranches.  I like the fine boned and smaller and more refined quarter horse in the cutting horse business.   Dear Larry, You didn’t go shirtless on CHiPs as much as your co-star Erik Estrada. Your female fans would have loved more shirtless Jon Baker. Why didn’t you tale your shirt off more? Of course you were acting & not modeling for a hunky calendar, LOL. Sincerely, Tara Smyth Canada Tara – Bo Derek in the Movie 10 almost took off her towel once but did not.  I have always thought that the suspense is more exciting than the naked body.  The naked body should be reserved as that special gift.   Dear Larry, I’m sure you’ve been told countless times how you were someone’s role model or hero. Who were your role models or heroes when you...

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Tomorrow

This past frenzied week as I continued my sprint on the economic treadmill, I called a television production company and pitched my projects for television. After breaking the ice the producer and owner of the company said we had a like friend from the past. I quickly responded with “and who is that?” He said Chip Hand. I thought back and said “oh yeah, Chip Hand, he worked with me as a co producer on projects we ran around the world buying and optioning movies-how is Chip these days?” I keep meaning to check in with Chip and just keep getting distracted with my priorities. I have this habit of telling my mind….tomorrow. The TV producer responded, “Chip died a few years back.” I said “What??” He responded, “Chip committed suicide.” The phone went dead and then was littered with mutterings and discordant sounds of confusion searching for balance in a world of unmeaning and finite abandonment. Where is the corner post as my outreached arms flailed and my hands grabbed at the inanimate air? Chip Hand was this kind of angel put on this earth who was a gardener for us, for the weeds who wanted to become flowers in the garden of life. Chip seemed to understand the depth of modeling a rich and productive life. He seemed like the virtuoso on so many levels and his...

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Thanksgiving

He shouts,”THANKSGIVING for what?” one student asks in a California Public School. The teacher hints the answer to try and boost this student’s self-esteem and reminds him and his Goth girlfriend with,” they sailed here, remember?”  He smirks, with the doofus eye lids drooping and the blunt ingested smile, “why sail when you can take a plane?” (He roars at his humor)  His Goth Girlfriend chimed in, “yeah, or they could not afford their luggage.”(Guffaw…..)The teacher smiles,.knowing that time and cultures have changed and perhaps she should move on in this class. Thanksgiving used to be an acknowledgement of DIVINE GOODNESS.  Of course in America we celebrated the good harvest with the Pilgrims and Indians.  Reminds me of someone who recently stated that the definition of a terrorist seems to be in the eye of the beholder doesn’t it?  Jokes about Thanksgiving are plenty and boring like what car did the Puritans buy and the answer is of course Plymouth, or what kind of Tan did they have and of course the answer is Puri – TAN.  In Canada, they celebrated a Canadian Thanksgiving in October in most provinces as it started with good old Martin Frobisher in Frobisher Bayas it is known.  Nothing wrong with giving thanks for something, just define it daily in your heart, right?  Happy belated Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends. Today, we are seeing more of...

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Masks

I look back on certain holidays like Halloween and feel lots of remorse.  Remember when your parent or some other parent said that they wanted to meet the parents of this girl you liked or a boy some girl was in love with….remember your reaction.  In my case I was passionate about how stupid that was, how judgmental and myopic and imagine allowing people to pre- judge a human being that was often striving for success …….uh….like me.  I had a single mom raising 4 children and I was not going to accept any judgment for my injustice or so called handicap. Youthful denial and transference are part of a person’s survival and armor and as a result we often put off the confrontation of our character’s strengths and weaknesses till our 40s after we have injured a lot of things and people. Halloween was chaos and injury and excitement and reckless abandon for me.  Halloween provided lots of fun and hormones and some people were ready to manage it  and some were not and would ricochet in the chaos they were comfortable with as a child.  Halloween and the myriad of characters and scary indulgence was what I was about. In retrospect, if I had two parents who would have “raised and prepared me” for life I hope and believe I  would have accelerated sooner.  We were taught...

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Healing: Thoughts on the CHiPs Reunion

In 2011 and early 2012 Sue Walsh talked to me about doing a CHIPS Reunion and I dubiously listened.  My concerns included things like the show is too old; no one will come; what is the product you will sell or offer, and why would we or anyone want to do this.  I thought, will any of the actors even come to a CHIPSReunionand who in the hell is going to pay for all of this risk?  I have not seen some of these actors since the show was on in the early 80s.  Wow! The discussion continued over...

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