Battle of the Network Stars-Then & Now

Back in the 70s and early 80s you were “invited” to compete in the Battle of the Network Stars and you would be one of a handful of stars representing your Network. (NBC, ABC, and CBS)   In my case, that meant NBC and I think they asked me to do it 4 or 5 years in a row.  Fast forward 40 years and they asked me again to “compete” or more politely…make an appearance and have fun.  Innuendo is accepted!

You know, one of the greatest pleasures I have in my Hollywood Life if you will is I got to play cowboys and Indians, play race car driver, play Top Gun Pilot, play Army, play leading man roles with beautiful women…all great fiction and you get paid a lot of money which like youth is not sustainable.  What a blast!  So when I was a little boy back in Rawlins, Wyoming with my Robby Robot, my football uniform and my basketballs…well,  I used to privately believe that one day I would be a professional basketball player a la Bob Cousy or a professional football player a la Johnny Unitas.  What is really an amazing journey is…hey, I got to live out my fantasy in most of these areas.   I feel so lucky knowing I could never be a professional athlete, however, recently I got to play the white Carl Lewis in Track and Field as Ponch and Jon ran the Relay Race together.  OMG…. talk about a comedy but it was fun.

Ohhhh, Father Time and his subtle seasoning of one’s perceptions and indulgences.  A young man seems to cling to his male identity crisis and define them with all of his glorious efforts of credits and resume.   In my case it was becoming a Professional Rodeo Cowboy; a professional race car driver, a singer with a record and other trinkets of masked denial.  Little did I know, all of those celebrity trophies fed my ego bu really did not amount to that much…..but as an evolving young man I burnished them on my lapel and my bio that I proudly shared with false humility?  There was no discernment with any “spiritual sword”….there was just the baker constantly cooking the cake of pride called ME, ME, ME.  And then one day the pendulum swings and the opposite end of the spectrum is now appealing…..which is symptomatic of a bi polar personality…..as now I wallow in the glee of “anonymity.”

I was suddenly above all of that notoriety and indulgence.  Reminds me of the time I used to hear that Paul Newman was an actor, and he did not think of himself as an entertainer.  He did not like to do autographs and such.  I used to laugh and say….” yes that is easy for him to say now that he is a big star but most of us have to be entertainers to get our foot in the door and then we might reiterate his sentiments.”  However, in reality, as I look back I never was an entertainer and always felt a conflict when you had to perform for the camera to try and find a funny or entertaining cut they might use.  Yes I attempted the funny one liners but I hated every moment of it.  Sure enough they had us do it to the camera for ABC for promotion on the Battle of the Network Stars.

My memories of the old Battle shows with all the starlets and all the actors strutting their stuff on the sun drenched pacific ocean and the Pepperdine campus and the fans were memories of lore.  There was so much beauty it could weaken a man as he took in the horizon of physical perfection.  It was a whirlwind of visual erotica and a limiting two days to breathe the Pacific Ocean with  daydreams of your ego attempting to set up a rendezvous somehow somewhere with one of the goddesses.  Oh, and there were some athletic events also which were in conflict with the party the night before and the going to bed at 4 am for a 6 am pick up.  Yeah…….celebrity athletes.

Limousines, Lipstick and spandex were trinkets of the visual Mecca.  Red carpet, cameras, flashes, fans, egos, brawn, tans, white teeth, braless swimsuits, and well……mostly blue balls all day long.  $10,000 dollars for two days of fun, branding, indulgence and athletic talent…or denial.

Fast forward 40 years and the same phone call.  We really want you to do this event as you were a regular and the fans will love it.  Hmmmm, love it?   Larry Who?   Watching old men competing in a track meet or obstacle course or a kayak race……..sounds more like a comedy to me.  They respond,”no no….we will mix young and old and we will have major athletes like DeMarcus Ware from the Cowboys and Broncos.”  I respond…. wonderful……you want to humiliate me and confront my conscious while tickling my past years of denial with athletic prowess.  Hey, I lived in and through my past Public Relations campaigns and came close to believing my own press.  I like to be humble these days but not sure humiliation is my favorite meal. The Agent responds…..  “No no the ABC Agent says this will be fun for all and the pro athletes will simply be your coaches.”  OK, what events will I have to do because I have some injuries?  Like I have a severed bicep from a few months ago so I cannot do my favorite event the obstacle course.  I am a tubby boy so not sure about a track and field relay race as I might have a stride length of 4 inches or so and I do not want to be humiliated again in that damn kayak.  “no no….there will be choices and you can do table tennis, archery and other things you will enjoy.  Just think about it and I will call you back…ok”

A few weeks later the emails and phone calls begin again and we go over the fear of being on national television and making an ass of yourself.    They tell me there will be older people than myself and it will be fine.  They tell me the pay is the same for everyone and it is $25,000 for one day.  Then I heard the drum roll. Hmmmm, OK, I guess I can do it.  Send me the contract.  LOL

I have watched a few episodes of Battle of the Network Stars 2017 and it was funny and entertaining.  There were a few celebs who still believed they were “athletes” and they did pretty well.  But as I watched it, I realized this was a Junior High Team on National TV thinking they were past Olympians.  Actually most of them had accepted their role today as prime plus actors.  Our very own little OLYMPICS on National TV-a really cool fantasy.

Really brings you full circle of what it takes to be a world class athlete.   Actors get to play house and other such scenes.  As a result they often believe they are not bad at what they do after watching the scene on national TV or in a Film.  Tom Cruise doing stunts…….well, he probably thinks he is an athlete.  Hey, Larry Wilcox played basketball and well……it was in a small town in Wyoming of all places and he may think he is an athlete.  Now Larry may rationalize in his egocentric mind that HE was a member of the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association (PRCA) and he did set 8 International Land Speed Records and the Bonneville Salt Flats and HE was a Marine in Vietnam.

Sorry to tell you Larry but the only athlete or real world class athlete is your WIFE in 7 events in Track and Field.  But go ahead Larry, compete on National TV with PONCH and your coach( a real athlete, DeMarcus Ware).  Ponch did many events unlike most of us.  He did the relay race with me; he did the tennis, he did the dunk tank; he did the kayak racing; and he did the obstacle course.  I did the relay, the dunk tank and basketball.  As a Battle of the Network Star “Olympian” I had fun but it reminded me of my real age and my real “talent”.

Reminds me when I first did the Celebrity Racing at the infamous Long Beach Grand Prix.  I would be racing with Parnelli Jones and other notable world champions and I would lose a lap by maybe one or two seconds.  Little did I know that meant they would LAP me soon thereafter.  World Champions are world champions because they are the best in the whole damn WORLD.  I was not even the best in my little TOWN in lonesome Rawlins, Wyoming.  But my conscious then cuts to one of my movie roles where I am a bad ass, or a pilot or whatever….and illusion and reality and denial can get mixed up.  LOL

The best part of these events was my wife was on camera a little with me.  There is nothing like having your family involved and to share the spot light.  She could have taken over the spotlight being a former Olympian but it was so fun to have her there and to have her coach me.  I think she should have coached PONCH a little more but he was a trooper-and he did the Battle even with a cold.  As he said….hey its $25K for a day…..NEXT.  Makes you appreciate the candor of a wise prime plus actor!

When I look back to the old Battle of the Network Stars I did the best times were with my children as they make the memories special.  (Derek, Heidi, Wendy, Ryan and Chad).  I think Derek and Heidi were young then and we had a good time together.  People often forget that the event that you think is not a big deal, maybe, a special deal for the rest of your family and friends.  So I really enjoyed those memories.  The old shows over two long days allowed people to engage and meet other personalities who were really, just normal people enjoying the press, pomposity, and payrolls.

Dan Haggerty was a good athlete and I remember our fun times.  Robert Conrad thought he was a great athlete and he was very competitive.  Randi Oakes was a good athlete and had the beauty and charm to compliment it all.  Catherine Bach was stunning and some of the beauties you did not want to see get dunked and ruin their “look”.

This even in 2017 was fun because I got to laugh and joke with my buddy Ponch and enjoy the conversations with Lorenzo Lamas.  Lorenzo is a jet helicopter pilot in NYC and continues to do acting here and there.  He was a joy to be around, a gentleman.

So the COPS vs. Comedians episode of Battle of the Network Stars will air on August 17, 2017 on ABC at which time I will have turned 70 years old.  But you know….I went back and read some of my press clippings the other day and I really think I am only 50 or so years old.  I am wondering if there was a typo on my birth certificate or maybe that Wyoming Water has kept me young.   Well…..guess it is time to say goodbye and off to the chiropractor.  Hugs!

Larry

Copyright 2017 Larry Wilcox

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18 Comments:

  1. Very well written, Mr. Steinbeck! Thank you so much for giving us a glimpse of that wonderful carnival you got to go to for so many years. Please write that book someday! Can’t wait to see you in September my dear surrogate dad. God bless you and your family! Hugs!

    • Thank you and look forward to seeing you in September. Yes I know I have to write the book one day. LOL
      Larry

  2. Awesome story Larry. I remember watching all the old Battle of the Network Stars. I enjoyed every moment of it watching all the stars have a good ole time. I remember sitting close to the tv to get a quick glimpse of my favourite stars. They flashed by so fast but it was a thrill to see them all. When I heard they brought it back I was excited to see new and old stars back competing in some of the old games I remember. I can’t wait to see your episode. Going to be awesome. Thank you and the other stars for bringing back some happy memories from the past. As always you rock and secretly your my favourite! 🙂

  3. Hi Larry,
    Awesome column as usual everyone wonders if they have some form of athlete inside them rather it pro or not as a martial artist in Aikido since 2005 (not practicing now due to personal reasons) ,I realize I was awesome in this martial arts anyways. In the old Battle of network stars I saw one u did great, had fun why everyone out do each other on TV. I watch the new version battle of the network stars have to say it hilarious seeing a mix of young, old out doing themselves on the show. Can’t wait to see your new battle of the network stars on August 17. lastly as long you had fun on the show that all that matter.

  4. I have been watching the shows with my youngest and had to show her clips of the original shows, the dynamic is so different but still enjoyable. I can’t wait for your episode and want to wish you an early Happy birthday from another Leo! Hugs!!

    • There was a lot more energy in the original series because of the HOSTS and the AUDIENCE and of course YOUTH.

      Larry

  5. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences while participating in Battle of the Network Stars. I’m looking forward to seeing the episode in which you appear. Glad you were able to overcome your trepidation so your fans get to enjoy seeing you on the small screen again.

    I imagine the hubris was knee-deep back in the day. Sounds like humility and recognition of physical limitations has taken its place in the 2017 version. Seeing our favorite stars facing the same challenges that come with aging that we all do only endears them to us even more and reminds us that they, too, are human.

    If you could pick any sporting event to participate in, what would it be?

    Thank you for your service to our great country and thank you for the years of entertainment you’ve provided as an actor, director and producer. All the best to you and your family.

  6. I still remember how excited I was whenever Battle was on, and how ecstatic I was to see Larry Wilcox was on the roster! When I heard you were going to be in the reboot of Battle, that old excitement hit me again–and I can’t wait to see your episode! I don’t have cable in my home, so I’ve planned an evening with a friend, involving pizza, wine, and good old FUN television!

    By the way, I’m always shocked when I read that you are almost 70…because you look and act so much younger!

    Thanks for another enjoyable read…and please take Sue’s advice and write that book!!

  7. thanks for sharing your memories with us. Always an enjoyable read. It’s interesting to see things from a different perspective than that of sitting in front of the TV and get to know the person a bit more and not just the part you played.

  8. Hey Larry, wow another good article I just love your humility as you call it. I’m sure when you did the network of the stars back in the seventies and eighties you thought you were hot shit and honestly you were. Loved watching you back then and I truly can’t wait to see you this time. And hey if you are really only 50 does that make me 40 since I’m turning 60 this year cuz I can go for that, lol. I say it each time and I’m going to say it again you need to let Sue put a book together for you. I just love hearing your stories. Your way of writing captures the imagination of who’s reading it. And by the way your WIFE isnt just the real athlete she is the real everything. I’m glad she TRIES to keep you in line. Keep writing my friend. ⛹🏃🎽🏀🏅🤗

  9. Great article! Your writing is both insightful and entertaining. Thank you for being such a good sport in going out of your comfort zone – it’s truly inspiring. I hardly ever get a chance to watch TV, but will definitely plan to watch this episode. And I admire how sweet you are to give credit to your fabulously athletic wife!

  10. Larry, je viens de lire la colonne alors je me suis empressée de voir la vidéo de Battles of the network star 2017 sur you tube. Je pense Larry d’auras fait un bon athlète et puis moi je trouve que tu débrouille bien vu t’on age . Et alors le rodéo est un sport d’athlète non.

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